A Brief Moment of Relapse

A Brief Moment of Relapse

A Poem by ewest1220
"

In fickle fury I all but can't hear...

"

A Brief Moment of Relapse

By: Ethan West


Make silent the bleeding heart of mine

Wherein my mind's eye you rest

While watching my heart I became myself blind

To all but the beating within my own chest


But within crushing blow my heart stands alone

In fickle fury I all but can't hear

And like a king that's thrown away from his throne

My sorrowful soul has grown ever near


It cries out to me, it yearns to be heard

Cries out to the blackness within my own chest

It wishes free air, like a caged, helpless bird

It wishes to feel, and be put to the test


But alas alas I am stranger to fate

Resistance to love is all that I know

And as I succumb to this broken state

I smile, as this is the end of my poem

© 2012 ewest1220


Author's Note

ewest1220
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

My Review

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Featured Review

Another lovely poem! I just loved the subtelty of the last line, that kindof gives the reader a feeling of relief that not all was dark and gloomy ... :)

Would just like to see less capital letters at the beginning of sentences and a bit more punctuation, perhaps?
Loved the use of the words "alas, alas" (maybe a comma between? which underlines the accenturates the helplessness of this love story.
In that same line, think that should be "a stranger."

Great poem, thanks for sharing,
Lizbeth

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Another good point. I think I meant to type "a stranger" I'll fix it ASAP thanks again for your inp.. read more



Reviews

Wonderful

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

8 Years Ago

Thanks! :)
Another lovely poem! I just loved the subtelty of the last line, that kindof gives the reader a feeling of relief that not all was dark and gloomy ... :)

Would just like to see less capital letters at the beginning of sentences and a bit more punctuation, perhaps?
Loved the use of the words "alas, alas" (maybe a comma between? which underlines the accenturates the helplessness of this love story.
In that same line, think that should be "a stranger."

Great poem, thanks for sharing,
Lizbeth

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Another good point. I think I meant to type "a stranger" I'll fix it ASAP thanks again for your inp.. read more
Wow. Felt this way often. Well-done. I like the meter!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thanks!
"It wishes free air, like a caged, helpless bird
It wishes to feel, and be put to the test"
I love these lines :)

This poem seems very real... the imagery and your word choice is perfect.
Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thanks! I always love hearing what you think I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!
Rox Bain ☮

9 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
The guiding element of tingling elements never leave the reader for a moment!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thanks! Very interesting way to describe this I'm thrilled you liked it! Thanks for reading!
wow, just wow no words.....

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

lol I hope that that's good :)
Kianna L. Bearden

9 Years Ago

yeah that's good! ;)
I love of this poem is just screaming with emotional good job :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thanks!
Emotion is something this definately has. I like how it's that way.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thanks!
Did I sense self-denial in there? What can I say? This has been our common defense and has been considered by almost every nation, from the remotest ages, as the highest exaltation of human virtue. But is it human virtue? Or could it be ego?

Your poem speaks of your inner feelings. Feelings you forcefully nurtured. I love the way you use the classical form of language. It made it easy to form an interpretation at the desired level of specificity.

Great work:)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the very detailed review! It's always a pleasure to hear from you and I'm thrilled yo.. read more

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28 Reviews
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Added on July 17, 2012
Last Updated on July 17, 2012
Tags: Poem, Dark, Reflective, Thoughtful

Author

ewest1220
ewest1220

Columbia Falls, MT



About
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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