I Know Not Why The Caged Bird Screams

I Know Not Why The Caged Bird Screams

A Poem by ewest1220
"

A light of white like crystal mirror

"

I Know Not Why The Caged Bird Screams

By: Ethan West


She lies inside her cage and screams

A song of sorts by end of means


Locked up for words which she had none

Locked up for nothing she had done


Innocent eyes and painted face

I saw when I upon this place


And then and then I cannot see

Why she lay there quietly


I tried and tried but could not budge

The padlocked birdcage door


I cried and cried and did not judge

She lay there now forevermore


Her beauty in this night so pure

A light of white like crystal mirror


I tried and tried to save her fate

I tried and tried to give her faith


I left that barren door unmanned

But the keys were hiding in her hand...

© 2012 ewest1220


Author's Note

ewest1220
I wrote this for someone very dear to me who's going through a hard time. Please give me any feedback you can I really really appreciate it.

My Review

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Featured Review

This totally describes my life and the way it used to be, so you touched my heart. But that's my past.
I love how you said "But the keys were hiding in her hand...", it spoke truth. The keys were always in my hand, I just had to decide to let myself out. Keep up the good work! This poem is absolutely beautiful.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that my work meant something for you and I'm thrilled you enjoye.. read more



Reviews

This is beautifully written. I love the emotion. This is wonderful and I enjoyed reading such a fantastic poem

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work!
Japanese Cherry

7 Years Ago

always a pleasure to review good writing!
I read this and thought EDGAR ALLEN POE! Are you him in disguise? Because you are quite good at writing! I love the flow and the words...and everything about this poem infact. Quite fantastic job :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

O.o you caught me ;) I do draw a lot of my inspiration from Poe's work so I'm glad you noticed! Tha.. read more
SmileBig :)

7 Years Ago

:) np :)
There's something about this poem that truly crushed my heart. I've no idea why, but it has brought back memories upon my heart that haven't been there (upon my own better/worst judgement) for a long time. You've truly blessed me with another amazing poem, and another insightful moment to divulge in, once again. Thank you for sharing such an amazing poem.

Your way with words has been a great inspiration, and great motivation to keep writing, and make my work something worth remembrance. :)

Your Friend,
Liz

Posted 7 Years Ago


ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Wow thank you so much Liz for your kind words. I'm truly honored that this poem had such an impact .. read more
unknown

7 Years Ago

It's no problem! You keep writing this, and I'll keep up with reading, and explaining why I love all.. read more
This is an outstanding write. Cadence such as this, brings power to the theme. It is chant. The writer's tender empathy is well presented, always heartful, never cloying.
Kudos!

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed this thank you so much for reading!
It reminds me of Maya Angelou I know why the cage bird sings yet makes me a lot sadder

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

That coincidence was intentional actually. I really enjoyed that short story. Anyways I'm really g.. read more
I see why this would be popular on here - it speaks deeply to people, regardless of their unique interpretation and context. It also has an elegance about it that most other poetry that are about emotional topics like this tend to lack (they're usually written in the heat of the moment without much craft...).

There were a couple places where the rhythm was thrown off. Of course, you may have purposed to do this to emphasize the line or whatever, but in case it wasn't intentional...

Line 5 "Innocent eyes and painted face" - It has the right amount of syllables, but the reader either has to put the stress on the second syllable of "innocent" rather than the first, or be okay with no unstressed "pickup" syllable to that line as well as two syllables - "in-no-" - in the place of one.

Line 8 "Why she lay there quietly" - Again, if one excepts the lack of pickup syllable to that line, it works great, with stress on "why", "lay", etc. But based on the established pattern, the reader will naturally make "why" the pickup and put stress on "she", "there", etc. When this happens, there's a missing unstressed syllable between "there" and "qui-". I'd suggest adding in "so". However, if you wanted it to be read the former way, then perhaps you could add in a pickup somehow? The words "for", "but", and "O" came to mind.

Line 10 "The padlocked birdcage door" - The line works great, it just stops short, missing two syllables. This does add a special emphasis to the line that may work just fine for you. But I thought I'd point it out anyways. If you do like it, because of the obvious parallelism between this couplet and the following, I'd almost suggest truncating line 12 similarly.

Line 18 "But the keys were hiding in her hand..." - Being the last line and the huge point of the poem (she could save herself all along), it is fitting that it might have a different rhythm to set it off. Not sure if the one it has works to that end, though. Essentially, it has two unstressed pickup syllables, and if you took out either "but" or "the" the problem's fixed. Of course, this also subtly changes the meaning....

Hope you find that helpful! Please don't take it amiss, I did quite like the piece!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

That actually some really interesting input I suppose on this one I never truly took the meter into .. read more
David Michael

7 Years Ago

I guess it's kind of a cool testament to you that your meter was so good without you even paying att.. read more
ewest1220

7 Years Ago

You're correct I've spent 6 years in orchestra and two in theory. So I suppose the meter shouldn't .. read more
very touching. "but the keys were hiding in her hand..." describes something with a friend of mine. she could get out of her situation so easily, but she chooses to keep going down the same path, and still it leads to heartbreak, every time. Great job

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you were able to relate to this I hope your friend eventually gets out of that sit.. read more
I love it.
It actually made me cry a bit.
Thank you for sharing this piece.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

The pleasure is all mine thank you so much for reading! I'm thrilled you enjoyed my work!
Bluefire

7 Years Ago

No problem. ^^ I look forward to reading more.
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DRD
It is an elegant if not sad piece of writing. By all appearances the bird is destitute of hope, yet in the end you see that she craved an end not for being locked up but for being unable to give voice to her pain.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Interesting perspective! I really appreciate your feedback and I'm thrilled once again that you enj.. read more
There was something here about accepting another's pain without judgement that I found very healing here. Well done.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you found some comfort in my work thank you so much for reading!

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2899 Views
104 Reviews
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Shelved in 10 Libraries
Added on July 19, 2012
Last Updated on July 19, 2012
Tags: Poem, Dark, Reflective, Thoughtful

Author

ewest1220
ewest1220

Columbia Falls, MT



About
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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