Chapter 2: The Trap Is Set

Chapter 2: The Trap Is Set

A Chapter by ewest1220
"

"Or I can come with you and die!"

"

Chapter 2: The Trap Is Set


Elizabeth stood in the clearing, frozen in fear. She could run no further as the bandits had outflanked her. They closed in from every direction chuckling under their breath.


Elizabeth's hand slid down to her waist where a long thin dagger was resting against her soft skin. Waiting to be released on one of the five bandits surrounding her. She knew who needed to die in order for her to survive. She had to kill the leader.


But all the bandits looked the same. Big, harry, and stupid. All but one of the bandits had a rusted broadsword in their right hand. The fifth bandit bore a long handled battleaxe.


“Well now,” said the man with the axe in a rough voice. “You've had your fun, but we really must be going.”


Elizabeth laughed desperately. “You would only kill me, why should I listen to you?”


“Well the way I see it you have three options,” the man spoke. His voice had shifted slightly into a sinister overtone. “You can run, and die. We can leave you with the shifter and he'll kill you...”


“Or I can come with you and die!” Elizabeth screamed.


“You would rather be destroyed by a monster?” the man questioned. “You heard the explosion you know what is on it's way, thanks to your cries for help. The damned have a thirst for blood that is never ending, and I hear they enjoy nothing more than a slow and painful death.”


Elizabeth looked around her wildly, her eyes finally meeting the blue sky. Would it be the last time she saw the sky? Would this mean the end.


As she continued to stare a black figure suddenly became apparent, a deep blue light centered at it's head.


She smiled softly at her brothers. “He's here,” she said nervously. “Be ready my friends...”



© 2012 ewest1220


Author's Note

ewest1220
Short chapter, however I saw this as an important angle to set up. What do you think?

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Featured Review

*hairy

Okay first things first, this must be a terrifing ordeal for Elizabeth but i dont feel it. I dont feel her panic and her desperation , i have no idea what she's thinking or feeling... and that is a very important part of this piece i feel. Because its the chase its the main focus of the chapter.

Another very interesting twist in this story, im hooked very tightly although still very confused but i do beleive you will clear all that up because the plot is thickening and progressing quite beautifully.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

She isn't scared :) that's why at the end she say's "Be ready my brothers." Just a little hint for .. read more
Ama May Cooper

7 Years Ago

Elizabeth stood in the clearing, frozen in fear. She could run no further as the bandits had outflan.. read more
ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Two shay lol I'll have to take a look at it and see what I can do. Thanks for the heads up!



Reviews

I agree with some readers I think giving a spot for Elizabeth struggle is important in this chapter, it should be there is a clear visuals showing that she really in struggle as a captives, illustrating the detailed of this point I think will make the story more attractive. :) Anyway it is still up to you but I enjoy this chapter.

Posted 6 Years Ago


I think I love Elizabeth.
I havn't seen anyone like her in a book in a while. This obviously isn't set in this time, and it's good to see something new and different. Will definetly read the other chapters you've put up.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

6 Years Ago

I kind of love her and hate her to tell you the truth. You'll see why ;) Thanks for reading by the.. read more
hhhmmmmm......an introduction to the second (important charater.well.that appears to me)....a gang of bandits and a girl...sounds interesting ..making the readers think
desperately what will happen next...

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

6 Years Ago

Well I hope you like what happens next ;) thanks for reading!
I like it, really draws you in. I love how you leave the reader on edge.
:D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!
hmmm

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

hopefully that's a good hmm :)
this would surely benefit from more detail. great 2nd chapter. very interesting story line.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
I would love to feel her fear. Not that I LIKE having people frightened, but if that's what she's feeling, it would make it more interesting if you made US feel it too. Other than that, I have no criticism.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Hmm true I can do a little work on that one thanks for the help!
SO deeply dark, i like a lot!!!!!!!!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks!
*hairy

Okay first things first, this must be a terrifing ordeal for Elizabeth but i dont feel it. I dont feel her panic and her desperation , i have no idea what she's thinking or feeling... and that is a very important part of this piece i feel. Because its the chase its the main focus of the chapter.

Another very interesting twist in this story, im hooked very tightly although still very confused but i do beleive you will clear all that up because the plot is thickening and progressing quite beautifully.

Posted 7 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

She isn't scared :) that's why at the end she say's "Be ready my brothers." Just a little hint for .. read more
Ama May Cooper

7 Years Ago

Elizabeth stood in the clearing, frozen in fear. She could run no further as the bandits had outflan.. read more
ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Two shay lol I'll have to take a look at it and see what I can do. Thanks for the heads up!
Did you mean hairy, not harry? I also wonder are they actually her brothers or just the way she saw them at that moment. I wonder. Yes a very short chapter, you say it was needed, I wonder why? Guess I will just have to read on and see why this was so important to the remainder of the storyline.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

lol whoops! I'll fix that ASAP
Sarah Hitchcock

7 Years Ago

Just something that caught my attention. Happens to the best of us...lol...

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Added on August 1, 2012
Last Updated on August 5, 2012
Tags: Book, Dark, Reflective, Fantasy


Author

ewest1220
ewest1220

Columbia Falls, MT



About
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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