Black Rain

Black Rain

A Poem by ewest1220

"Wise beyond years, yet broken alone"

Black Rain - By Ethan West

Black rain falls on my broken mind
A field of gray, a touch of disgrace
My pursuit, my ambition, all it was blind
And now I'm trapped within these lines
Etched clear as glass upon my face

Lines that hold nothing
Hold nothing to say
A bird without sing
My voice does not ring
It's broken, and beaten, and carried away

Blind to my pain, I became a saint
Deaf to my cries, I grew larger than life
Muted my heart, withstood, became faint
Paralyzed by the fear, that they'd see my strife

Alone in that darkness
I pretend to care
I give all of my conscious
In hope that the righteous
Right actions I took, would make me feel there

But apart from it all
I still remained
Can't fathom the fall
Despite wherewithal
My perfect heart's stained

Wise beyond years, yet broken alone
A gift to the world
My goal and my throne
The black rain, thus earned

To move a mountain, I became the rain
Something I am not
And cannot maintain
In desperate power, I am left thus to rot

© 2021 ewest1220

Author's Note

Been awhile since I've posted here. Life has a bit of a way of... getting in the way. Hope you enjoy! ^_^

My Review

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The line "a bird without sing/ my voice does not ring" is a little clunky. While the rhyme is there, the first line doesn't quite flow as well as a thought as all the others in the poem. Maybe if you made it "a bird without singing" it mightve worked better? Other than that it was a really hearflet piece of regret and the lonely empty feeling that follows it.

Posted 1 Month Ago

Life has a way of draining us emotionally. Making us rethink and back track things we have done. Staining our inner selves making us doubt who we are and the light that shines within us. Many times it is swallowed by darkness of guilt or regret

Posted 2 Months Ago

Powerful and worthwhile thoughts shared my friend.
"Alone in that darkness
I pretend to care
I give all of my conscious
In hope that the righteous
Right actions I took, would make me feel there"
I understand the above lines. with old age. I asked myself. Did I do enough? Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.

Posted 2 Months Ago

There is such a pained sadness in these words. They resonate with me far after the last word said. It speaks of someone who can't change who they are and has accepted what they have become. Thank you for sharing your poem.

Posted 3 Months Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on June 19, 2021
Last Updated on June 19, 2021
Tags: poetry, dark, melancholy, reflective



Columbia Falls, MT

I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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