The Angst

A poem about self doubt, comparing myself to others I feel are always better than I.

By others I measure myself

In each I see more than I have on my shelf

Fabricating card houses built of thin paper

Not collapsing supposition's façade, I’m the traitor

To me, who asks, insists, I see me as I do the cards

Existence sheltered from chance’s ravenous shards

Inside my head, inside my head

Impervious

Contempt

My psyche enamels from the inside

I swallow my ego cyanide

Inside my head, inside my head

I cannot breathe into my life

I cannot give birth to me

I cannot become the butterfly

They cannot set me free

Contrails scratch the sky

Inside my head, inside my head

Abhorred in my plane, my mark I cannot see

Below, they know I fly

Seeing nothing, I think I see everything

They cannot set me free

They see, why not me

Author's Note

Assuming the nature of other, I compare. The others are the cards.

Reviews

[PaperLife]

This is something I fear that we all feel. You reach out for something and they slap your hand. Your shell has become your existing place. Your one area to live. Where it's safe but you become so lost.

I like how you repeat Insid My Head, Inside my head. That's where you take it. Sometimes just straight up saying something makes it more beautiful.

This poem reaches right into the reader's soul, goes way way in there and tugs out, just rips out this hidden rule we seem to follow, yet isn't defined by anything more then irrational and sometimes rational fears. It makes you feel something and confront this thing we all do.

Well done.

[mariah]

wow, i really love the comparison in this, its very well written and described. great work!
-mariah

[Genevive]

I like the comparison, it's very poetic. You were so vulnerable in this. I can really relate.

[Michael X]

clever wording, what is the nature of self doubt, but failure to recognize
the meaning of existence, then what is existence? do I compare myself to
other people to derive meaning or understanding of life? the way to
understand self is to rise above self, but how do we rise above self?
to think is to struggle in short sight, because thought is the gravity.
any thought beyond a clear mind is an invention of the ego
preserving a sense of meaning, often by comparing reference points
of what the ego models as success, don't compare yourself to a man
but see how you relate to the rock, which will be here long after any man.
great work, it's quite contemplateive and engaging form, pure poetry :)