And Now For Something Different-Allan Laff

And Now For Something Different-Allan Laff

A Poem by Barbara Walker

My inspiration for this piece is Dr. Wood ?. I laugh a lot when I read his work. That got me to thinking about what happens when your laugh your a*s off.The poem wrote itself using my hand.


Allan Laff loved to laugh,

he loved to laugh so much.

One day he laughed and laughed

and laughed his a*s right off!


Then, his a*s went missing

and he missed it, as well.

He asked if anyone had seen his a*s,

but if they had, they wouldn't tell.


Allan began searching high,

Allan searched low, too,

but he couldn't find his a*s

and didn't know what to do.


He discovered that without his a*s,

he couldn't sit at all.

He was the only person standing,

when company came to call.


Allan Laff, who loved to laugh

began to frown a lot.

He wondered if there was a store,

where asses could be bought.


There was no brick and mortar store,

but someone sent him catalogs,

with photos of asses you could buy,

but they looked like they belonged on dogs.


Then one day, in the mail,

he received a ransom letter,

telling him if he paid some dough,

he and his a*s could be back together.


Allan Laff, who loved to laugh,

walked straight to the bank,

but after looking at his balance,

his heart suddenly sank.


Allan Laff, who loved to laugh,

had a balance very low.

He wondered if he had a friend,

who would lend him so much dough.


Allan Laff, who loved to laugh,

had a friend who was very rich,

so Allan went to visit him

and gave his earnest pitch.


His rich friend refused to loan,

he said, "I'll give it to you,

because Allan Laff without his a*s,

is very, very blue.


Allan Laff, who loved to laugh,

soon paid the ransom cash.

Now, Allan feels much better,

the a*s nappers returned his a*s.


The moral of this story?



Don't laugh your a*s clean off

or a*s nappers will steal your a*s

and when they get through with you,

you'll pay...and pay with cash!

© 2013 Barbara Walker

My Review

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Hi Barbara,

A nice comic relief, and a funny story told in rhyme.

This was enjoyed.

All my best,


Posted 7 Years Ago

Excellent! I laughed many times while reading it. Good job! Too bad he had to 'pay through the a*s'.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Haha this is genius :) I really loved my a*s of, so I guess I must be afraid of the a*s nappers now ;)
Such a unique and creative poem with great rhymes. My favourite part was
"He wondered if there was a store,
where asses could be bought."
Simply brilliant.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Barbara Walker

7 Years Ago

I am pleased you enjpoyed this and laughed your a*s off! Do be careful of those a*s nappers and if .. read more

7 Years Ago

:D haha i certainly will ;)
L.O.L. :) This is amazing, made me laugh so hard I had to go and show my Mother!! (She laughed as well, and had me bookmark it for her!)
This is just so cute!
I loved how it was a poem, with perfect rhyme and flow, but also this fun little story. It almost reminded me somewhat of a nursery rhyme rhythm, especially with the clever little moral at the end!

Thank you so much for the laugh!

Posted 7 Years Ago

Barbara Walker

7 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
Haha, this made me laugh! I laugh a lot when I read the Docs work too, he is a laugh! Gotta love his sense of humor, haha. Nicely done!

- Noodle.

Posted 7 Years Ago

A enjoyable poem. Make me smile this early morning. I'm glad Allan found his a*s. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.

Posted 7 Years Ago

Ha, giving the doc a run for his money....I've tried laughing my fat arse off, it never works. Good one Barbara!

Posted 7 Years Ago

and with a moral too...very good

Posted 7 Years Ago

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8 Reviews
Added on June 3, 2013
Last Updated on June 3, 2013
Tags: ass, laugh, ransom, money, loan, cash


Barbara Walker
Barbara Walker

Lake Havasu City, AZ

I am retired from the Postal Service. I find I write poetry to help myself through difficult times and I have written many poems in response to the chronic pain I've been living with for over 30 year.. more..


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