Minutes into Hours

This is an old poem of mine I recently found. It was written about 24 years ago.

No guarantees, only possibilities,

hell, I'm very familiar with that...

But, there comes a time,

with all the "hanging in there"

and the "holding on,"

that my tired, weary body

and my spirit to live,

slowly, ebb away

and I'm letting go, giving up...

to hell with being brave

and it's fine and okay,

if I never see another day.

Why not "try,"

just in case?

Because chronic pain

turns minutes into hours,

hours into days

and a day into a week,

until every fiber of me craves

the total release that I seek.

My mouth can form a smile,

I don't give a clue,

that all the while,

it's pasted on with glue.

It's been over twenty years,

that I have gone through this.

I've shed so many, many tears,

existing, enduring

this black abyss.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem.
"No guarantees, only possibilities,
hell, I'm very familiar with that.."
The poem told a story and I like the strong description. Life lead us to many places. Sometime a black abyss. Thank you dear Poet for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Barbara Walker]

you always 'get me' thanks

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. Always a pleasure to read your words.

[Cole Hayley]

The third stanza is gorgeous:

"My mouth can form a smile / I dont give a clue / that all the while / it's pasted on with glue"

This could even past as lyrics, honestly.

I missed reading your work

[Barbara Walker]

Cole, it's so good to hear from you! Thank you very much for the review. It says 4 years in this piece, but it's been 29. Hard to believe. I hope all is going well for you.

[1]

Unfortunately, life is pain. The burden of a poet is that we express the very emotion we feel, whether good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative. It is somewhat of a release to have the gift/curse of meaningful expression and I believe most poets write to help others endure and sustain. As poets we cry together, your strength gleams through your thoughtful pen; stay strong, my dear.........................

[Barbara Walker]

I do not know if I am strong. But I thank you for making me feel like I could be. Other than permanently making myself absent, it feels more like when you first find yourself astride a very mean bull-what else can you do, but try to hold on? 😸

[1]

And you are holding on, otherwise you would be absent.....................

[highonwords]

i can't really fathom the depth of your pain and suffering - but i hope these words of mine could be a source of comfort and presence in your life as you battle the pain and the emptiness it creates - pain takes too much life and strength to endure - i won't say don't lose hope, but it's all right to cry and write it all out and talk about it to people, to loved ones and friends

best to you,
steph

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you so much for reading this and I love your words, " its okay to cry" and to talk about it. It does help, greatly, but there is a fine line you have to walk, when you least feel like being aware of it. Writing has been a big therapy for me, kept me somewhat sane! Lol Thank you again!

[highonwords]

you're welcome, my friend :)

best,
steph

[Einstein Noodle]

i came to visit you because i have not noticed you posting anew lately .. re-read your about me ..then found this one i have not read yet ... my heart goes out to you .... this expression reflects the feeling so well ... striped of embellishments ..straight forward and shot from the hip ... one of life's road rashes that has no remedy ... and sice you wrote this many years ago .. i am confident that the "giving up" did not result in loosing something ..but finding something much larger ... our emotional and real trust in a higher power may not resolve a difficult issue ..but grant an assurance that its ok anyway ... i have not lived with chronic pain to speak of and those aches have been managed with my wonderful chiropracter and some tylenol or motrin ;) not that easy for many .. sending up my little request on your behalf right now ... and i might as well ask for all your healing and well being .. love and peace!
E.

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you, E. I'm happy that you are still reading me! I actually wrote this around 1990 so something has helped me to stick around because that chronic pain has been diligent in being my shadow. My grandkids have been a big reason I am here and I was only half kidding when I've said that if I tried to off myself, I'd probably screw it up and be a vegetable BUT aware enough that I would know I screwed up and was a vegetable! Thanks again, E!

[Einstein Noodle]

;) ..............

[Erana]

Hi Barbara...I am sorry to read all your pain and heartache in that poem...
Hope that tomorrow will be a better day for you.
Writing about your pain, hope it bring total relief for you
I can see your heartache in the words
~E

[Barbara Walker]

Thank you Erana. Getting it out on paper helps a lot, but I hope people read my other poems and don't think pain is all I write about. I want to make people laugh, too. It is difficult for someone to understand what it is like being in chronic pain, if they have never experinced it. I hope my words help!