Girl in the Cold

 

 

Author's Note

Poetry is new to me, but I'm a little more comfortable with visual art. I thought I'd try combining them into little snapshots.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Once more a great illustration. The beauty of this poem is its ability to infer, making us use our imaginations. There seems to be (to me) an accusatory hint in the girl's expression. It's as though she is mulling over the addressee's look of having secrets on his breath. He has been drinking (I'm assuming it's a male.), which may mean he's been with someone else. The night has come early, all right, for this relationship. She's taking a walk, and don't expect her back anytime soon.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the artwork and the words. Sometime the eyes tell us everything. Thank you Christoph for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Samuel Dickens]

If only the signs were that obvious, there'd be fewer of us fools in love. I have experienced a milder version--long, long ago. The writing itself is intense and very well worded. Is the illustration your work? It's nice, whatever the case.

[Beccy]

Noted you comment about how you aren't to keen on rhyming.

Interesting that I find your words rhyme, (or perhaps a better descriptive would be flow,) in the mind as I read them aloud; which is side of poetry not always realised and appreciated.

Beccy.

[Fran Marie]

A chilly attitude of anger flows through the cold night air ..perhaps she'll cool down with the walk in the
snow..nice work

[JR]

The unease that comes with the line "Your teeth black with wine" is just delicious. I feel the cold coming off of her... and the need to remove the self from someone like that. Structurally, I really enjoy the two short stanzas you're using. You keep your metaphor consistent and it's very effective. I also really enjoy the blending of the mediums, that is super cool.

[Mark Tisdale]

A pretty picture, Christoph, but I still think that you are hiding your words behind the image. Do they stand on their own? You'll never know until you try. I would like to see you write a longer piece as well to be frank.

[Christoph]

I'm kind of trying things out in threes. So one more like this, then I'll give something more traditional a shot.

[Paul Bell]

Like the concept of the pensive girl in the photo.
The ice holds no secrets now, and the walk into the night sounds like it kept on going never to return.
Even without the words, the picture speaks volumes.

[Eilis]

Is the artwork your own? I appreciate how the mood of it fits the words you’ve paired with it. She has a knowing look. She’s not going to be beat so easily. But, also, there’s a tinge of vulnerability. That thing we all try to hide.

I was trying to find a poem that this made me think of, but I can’t remember the name of it. Since you’re new to poetry and exploring it as a medium, I think the best way toward understanding it better is through reading great poems. There are so many good ones out there, and so much beyond the classical stuff from compulsory schooling. Anyway.

I liked about your poem that it told a story. There are two people in a sort of hiding and they are trying to discover the cover of each other. The images related to ice and snow and fog are great for creating atmosphere and a sense of feeling. The sense of things is strong.

And ending on the action of walking away is great because it keeps the scene alive. Moving on with her. I enjoyed this.

[Christoph]

The artwork is mine, yeah.

Let me know if you do remember that poem, or have anything else to recommend. The only thing I know about poetry so far is that I'm not too keen on rhyming.

[Eilis]

I will try to find the poem today. A great book to start with would be Poetry 180, as it is an anthology with 180 contemporary poems. I think there’s a website that has the poems as well. It was started by Billy Collins (poet) to introduce high school kids to good contemporary poetry but I’ve found some excellent work there.

I’ll see if I can find the link.

[Eilis]

Here’s the link to the poem page of Poetry 180. Still can’t remember that poem.

https://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/p180-list.html

[Arms of Sleep]

Like before I can't tell if the words are the girl in the artwork or her lover. This isn't a bad thing however because it can work both ways. It changes just what is in her face. Does she have the secrets and the wine in her teeth or is this the face of disappointment?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

reminds me of a Christmas Eve with an ex....it was very cold, and not just outside...
frost is not always on the ground and frosting is not always on the cake.
j.