Ashes

Ashes

A Poem by Doll

urban sounds flowing in through the open window
the empty white walls painted in warming sunlight
a false sense of harmony in this lonely room
keeping me distracted from the ashes on my mind

memorable occasions are lost in a reign of forgetfulness
replacement seems to be the key to our happiness
a revolving mind is a free mind they say to me
stillness is the downfall of everything we've achieved

though we all try to keep memories of our tainted lives
collecting snippets of these and that in chock-full drawers
we're all clinging so desperately to bygone times
and disregarding the possibilities of a new tomorrow

the pain we're feeling when the time has gone by again
another chapter of our existence finished up abruptly
is what keeps us going to find another happy moment
to save it with the souvenirs we've found along the way

while the ashes arise to never known heights in our minds
choking up our insight to find our way through the past
we're looking through the pall of our very own reality
slowly build from memories we never should have had

© 2009 Doll


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Featured Review

Quite an amazing piece you've got here. It reads almost as a philosophical dissertation but in much more humanistic terms. I particularly love the line, "is what keeps us going to find another happy moment
to save it with the souvenirs we've found along the way" That is just simply amazing. Sometimes it is just individual little lines like that which can make a poem pop out from the average writing. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Good luck.


Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Very good piece.

"the pain we're feeling when the time has gone by again
another chapter of our existence finished up abruptly"

got me good

Posted 10 Years Ago


"though we all try to keep memories of our tainted lives
collecting snippets of these and that in chock-full drawers
we're all clinging so desperately to bygone times
and disregarding the possibilities of a new tomorrow"

the poem in to-to was amazing, but loved these lines the most.. nice flow.. and a lovely piece of work...

Regards,
Poetic Soul

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I absolutely adore the content of this poem. I have memories that I scratch and claw at in the hopes of holding onto them, but despite my best efforts, they fade. I think of all of my memories daily and they seem so few. I know that there are more just beyond my reach.

You have captured this and put it into words marvelously. I wish you'd have added punctuation though. You wrote the poem so you know how it's supposed to sound. Punctuation would help those of us who didn't write it see it and hear it exactly as you do.

That would be my only suggestion for this otherwise lovely poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Quite an amazing piece you've got here. It reads almost as a philosophical dissertation but in much more humanistic terms. I particularly love the line, "is what keeps us going to find another happy moment
to save it with the souvenirs we've found along the way" That is just simply amazing. Sometimes it is just individual little lines like that which can make a poem pop out from the average writing. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Good luck.


Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

The more I read your poems, the more I realize our poetics have much in common. I am too obsessed with the passing of time and our incapacity to handle the dismay that consequently embraces the heart. I loved the setting in the lonely room which you used also in another poem.
Keep on pushing, Doll.

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

that's a really lovely poem. and so true. we all seem to have memories we wish we didn't have and your approach with pointing out that wallowing in them blocks our sight of the positive things in the future or even in the past, is what we should keep in mind everytime we put a little more ash to our minds. and even though it seems pretty negative on first sight, the slight optimism it displays should give us hope during hard times. i wonder why it hasn't gotten any reviews yet, because it's truly an insightful and well crafted piece. =)

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 20, 2008
Last Updated on September 21, 2009

Author

Doll
Doll

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