"this one i want to keep"

This was written about me last summer. The boy had left it in my possession, i suppose forgotten about it. On the front it simply says 'this one i want to keep' thought i cant understand why.

"Shes the love of my life." I said to myself as i sat writing. "She makes me want to sing."
There were no words to explain her beauty, there still aren't.
She has the voice of a goddess, i couldn't hurt her if i tried.
She was perfect except for one thing. She wasn't mine. We shared musical moments together, we had everything in common. She was so close but i couldn't touch her, still cant. She was the butter to my bread, the bun to my hot dog, but i still couldn't f*****g touch her. Its crazy how one day you take something for granted and the next day its gone. It makes you relies how important somethings are. When you've experienced loss in your life you know what i mean. I've lost friends family and now her, but things happen for reasons. Whatever those fucked up reason may be. But now i keep having this dream. I'm following her up the a flight of stairs,  and we end up in the same gray room. Picks a door, and it always leads to this rooftop. I always tell her the same thing: "no, please don't do this, i love you" but as soon as I'm done speaking she steps over the edge. I run after her to bring her back, but then i'm falling to. I see ways (weather real or not) that my friends and family have left me. All of this is interrupted by her tilting her head up & smiling at me. we're getting closer to the ground, & i still cant touch her, still cant reach her, still cant do anything more then watch her life slip away. A dull greyness overtakes me as i watch her cross over. She jumps into it, once again. Shes still running. And I'm still running after her.

Author's Note

for those of you who have ever understood the line from save your scissors - city & colour: 'everytime i turn around, some body falls in love with me'
people have no idea the effect they can have on someone.

note: i only wrote the ending, cause i did carried away when posting it. origianl ending : "then i flash back were almost at the ground she turns to me in mid air and smiles at me even though we are not far apart when she hits the ground i see everything and it kills me to think about it, that moment lasts forever before i hit the ground.