Tamable Game.

A little life rant, I was just off the friggin deep end today.

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   If I have learned anything in my short duration of existence, it would be that no creature could ever come perfectly prepared to endure, overcome, or predict the rollercoaster that is life. Not mentally, not physically, and defintely not emotionally. Fitting in with life, & getting comfortable with it, is by far not given to us at birth. We can only work with what we have, and try to adjust to the ups and downs, by adapting, growing, & learning.

 

Humans by nature are creatures of curiosty, and of conquering conception. We need fact, we need answers, we need instant understanding. Humans will go to any length to break down a problem, find answers, and conclude. Sometimes we do so by concocting ridiculous theories, by where denial comes in handy.

God. A character created by man, to give us hope, to give us answers. It's great to have hope, to have motive, but putting all of your eggs into one basket may not pay off in the end, after all.

Dedicating all of your hope, and all of your faith, your life, into a character that in no way, has ever been proven to exist, is in my eyes, a waste of time, a waste of your life.

I for one, as you have probably already concluded, do not believe in God, or any higher power for that matter. To me, God or Destiny, only allows humans to get away with what we want, to not take respoinsibilty for what we do. 

Destiny being an excellent source of exuses, and Satan being a perfect scapegoat.

I think that humans are, and should be, entirely responsible for their own actions.

I believe that, no matter what the situations were, or what the situation is, only yourself is responsible for the outcome of your life, and only yourself can change the course that you're taking right now, good or bad. 

It's easy to live in vain, to make up excuses. & I'm well aware that everyone has done so more than one point in their life, even I have, at such a young age. It's the same concept, or same thing, as making mistakes.

It's only until you get that raw slap in the face to wake you up, will you ever learn from your mistake.

Living in vain, making up excuses, is just one kind of mistake, that you will learn from, eventually.

That slap in the face can be a tough price to pay for a mistake, indeed, but nontheless, an excellent way to teach you. What wolud happen if you lived life making the same mistakes over and over without learning anything, without gaining new control?

Life would be a living hell, wouldn't it?

One of life's key components is, learning.

You learn from your mistakes, and try not to make them again.

Some people learn to be more tolerent, patient, accepting, giving, caring, kind, you name it.

Who you become, is, in fact, not only who you want to become, but who you have learned to become.

And by making those mistakes, and learning from them, all contributes to the end result.

Who you  have become after all.

 

Now looking back to where I began, life is a rollercoaster that know one is initially prepared to endure.

With all the rough and tough parts of life, some people, and myself, feel that death, dying, should be the easiest part of life. Your body takes control, your conscience can fault you no more. At death, in the process of dying, you are left with no more respoinsibiltiy, no more life altering decisions to make.

You can relax, you owe the world no debt, at this point, the world is paying you back, in an odd sort of way.

I haven't experienced dying before, no, but what I have gathered from first hand living experience, has taught me that death should definitely be easier than living.

Your conscience, a huge weapon of mass destruction, a beautiful, dangerous, brilliant tool.

A deadly, costly possession.

Your conscience is what allows you to make your decisions, your conscience allows you to survive, to think, to learn what is right and what is wrong. It contains what you have learned, it remembers what will kill you, what will make you happy. Your conscience can even inwardly destruct, killing you from the inside, if you let it.

Where when dying, you are freed, some what, from your conscience's powers. You are finally allowed to sit back,  & reflect.

 

I used to think think that maybe I was already dead, that life was a failure for myself, and here I am now, burning and suffering for eternity.

That right there, that little huge thought that drifts into my head every now and then is what confirms to me, that I am indeed, alive.

You know why?

Because if I were dead, I wouldn't feel such pain, I wouldn't have such thoughts.

Life isn't all about the downs, it always has its ups every now and then.

And if I were to feel so down and low, than it must mean that something would of had to of made me pretty happy at one point.

Having that happy feeling removed, and feeling such pain, is just another way of reminding me that I am alive.

Pain comes with the deal, and so does happiness.

It's a 2 for 1 kind of deal.

And I wouldn't buy anything other than life, anything.

 

I'm not an overly talkative person, I'm not bubbly, I can be very pessimestic, and I'm not overly social, but that's just who I am.

I have never really been a huge social person, I'm kind of introvert, I don't exactly relate to people very well.

But I have had some pretty cool people in my life, some pretty good experiences, & I have some great memories.

And I still do have good people in my life, I've lost some good friends (I hate to admit), but I have also gained some pretty good friends too.

Everyday I learn more, meet new people, I become wiser, laugh alittle, punch alittle, yell alittle.

I don't cry, ever, that's just one of my things. Crying is only giving in to the perpetrator.

I've learned that trying to be nice to others is pretty important, and I do try. Really.

I have a personality, that grows with every passing second, but I still have my flaws, & so does everyone.

I won't grow into what people expect, or hope of me to be, that just won't happen.

But I will learn to be a little more nice, to make it easier on others, so in turn, others will make it alittle easier on me.

After all, you get what you give, right?

I've made some pretty stupid mistakes so far, but I have certainly learned from them. I've learned that the

people around you can affect your behaviour, mood, morals, values, but only if you let them.

& I'm positive that that rollercoaster will have few less bumps if you don't let people get to you, I don't.

 

Now with this short little life that I have, this tough little bomb shell of existence, I've learned that the rollercoaster can't be controlled, but it can be managed, and everyday that you get through, you've managed to tame that game just alittle more.

 

 

Author's Note

Life was what I felt like discussing (or rambling on about).
Reviews are always well received.