with you

with you

A Chapter by fhamie
"

chapter 3

"
with you, i never feel blue
with you, i"ll always be true
with you, everything seems new
with you, there's nothing i can't do.

with you, i smile...
with you, i cry...
with you, i sing...
wtih you, i live.

with you, i stare...
with you, i dare...
with you, i care...
with you, i share.

with you, i laugh...
and most importantly
with you...
I LOVE.










© 2010 fhamie


My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

Simple, but sweet. Emotions do not have to be complicated.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Short but sweet and right to the point. It encompasses what love really does to a person. Nicley done.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this was very beautiful.
I loved the ending :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Like the way "with you" is repeated. Drives the point home that you've found the person you believe is your "soul mate."

Posted 14 Years Ago


I'm not quite as fond of this one because I don't really like the rhyme scheme. I feel like it could possibly have been in the way of what you really wanted to say. But I do agree that what you say is important to be shared between lovers.

Posted 14 Years Ago


nice rhythm in this little poem!!

Posted 14 Years Ago


simple sequence of lovers' thoughts... trails down the page like kisses

Posted 14 Years Ago


@topsyturvy>>> thank you for the nice review...i've edited the second line..you are right i've missed some words there. thanks again..

Posted 14 Years Ago


"with you, i always true"--that's the only line that i saw that was missing a word xD but disregarding that, this poem is perfect. Sincere all through-out and very beautifully written :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Such excellent movement in this poem. A fun poem to read out loud. Kind and sweet words led to a perfect ending. A excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

360 Views
11 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 4, 2010
Last Updated on January 8, 2010


Author

fhamie
fhamie

Manila, Philippines



About
HI! Sharing my thoughts...whenever I feel the joy..whenever I feel blue..I just find my fave pen and write... I love writing, reading, travelling...I also love to sing...and I love looking at the.. more..

Writing
We'll be fine We'll be fine

A Poem by fhamie



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Smiles Smiles

A Poem by Tate Morgan


"Missing him" "Missing him"

A Chapter by fhamie


Innovations Innovations

A Poem by Dev