Just To Say I Did It

Break-ups are a b***h, ain't they.

I walked the path past your house tonight

Wide steps shoulders back

In Vans but striding like I got them thigh high bloody bottoms.

I wanted to see if I really am

As strong as I feel

If I could climb up the mountain just to touch the top

Just to say I did it.

I don’t know if I really saw you, laying there on your bed 

In the blue grey glow of a YouTube movie review

Or if I’d just seen you that way so much my mind’s eye stamped you there

And the thought or vision of you alone

It made my stomach twist like a bread tie

Warped and forgotten in the bottom of the trash

Haunted by the thought that maybe you might

Catch a glimpse of my red hair through the window

And know that even if I was real you’d never

Be able to catch me.

My heart caught me by surprise by hoping I just might see you walking my way in the dark

That gait and those shoulders I used to claim across a busy store on an easy Sunday morning

Not to kiss

Not to make-up

Not to kick up the dust and make you watch

Me run away

Just to sit here

In this hazy summer dream

Together in the dark

With the sound of the electricity tickling the dry heat of the desert above

Watching the canal carp dance in the lamplight

To say thank you

For all the beauty we were

And all the beauty I’m becoming

Because you let me go

Knowing full well

I would fly

And you’d still be here

In the glow of the TV on a Tuesday night

Watching reviews of movies

That remind you

Of me.