Bigger Than The Hole

He said goodbye.

And as soon as I could see through the tears again

I let myself go.

I let myself go to California and play with my sister soul

I ran on the beach

And walked with a handsome stranger

Only to hug him at the end of the night and wish him peace

Instead of finding new ways to cry

I found new ways to laugh

Put myself in positions

To see beauty

To try new things

To grow bigger than the hole you left

And when the pieces fell out

I felt every excruciating tear

But I let them go

Didn’t hang on to them as they

Exposed themselves from my flesh

And then I stretched

Again

I rode a roller coaster just to remind myself

Even the feeling of falling ends

Even the feeling of losing control

Can sometimes feel good

I sang karaoke in front of people I didn’t know

Just to feel their eyes

To remember the power of my own voice

I looked back on my past

And I made a room laugh

Drove to another state

On red bull and nerve

Stood on a stage and

Dared the Universe to tell me

I wasn't  “The Funny One”

He tore through me

And I pulled every piece out

Used the pain

To build something new.

That night you left

That night you pushed me off the cliff

I could have sworn you let me fall

But I can see now

You convinced me to fly.