Confused

A Poem by Jane Doe

Heart beating fast,
What is this,
Why am I upset?
Can't I live in bliss?

Palms sweating,
I'm slightly angry,
Why won't they shut up,
I'm feeling a lot, strangely.

He's not mine,
Yet while they flirt,
My heart tugs,
But I have a boyfriend and now I feel like dirt.

Who do I want?
I wish I knew,
But I do know,
I just I want him, no you, no him, no you.

I don't know,
My head throbbed painfully,
My heart hurts,
I calm myself awkwardly.

Inside,
I'm confused,
On the outside,
I feel used and abused.

Here it comes,
The memories of us,
They way it ended,
In a huge lie that caused a fuss.

But he's mine,
I want him forever,
But I'm selfish,
I want to be together.

I want who I have,
I want him forever,
I want the one I don't have also,
Can we three be together?

NO!
We can't,
Silly me for thinking,
We shan't.

I can't,
Make up my mind,
I will,
Figure it out in time.

Hopefully,
Maybe,
If I really know,
I guess we will have to see.