As I swing

As I swing

A Poem by Jason

 

Under the firm oak
Where squirrels burrow
And the shade forms a cool spot
-I swing
 
Admiring the setting sun
And the scattering birds
The spring clouds gathering color
-As I swing
 
Soft sounds of the rocking rope
Rubbing against the strongest limb 
Reverberates a slow and steady creak
-As I swing
 
My feet dangle
Over fresh green grass
That connects with the pastures
-As I swing
 
The air must be sweet
That is If I could breathe it in
But damn this rope that squeezes my neck
-As I swing

© 2008 Jason


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Featured Review

I understood right from the start what this was about...
The gentle setting, words you used presented an ending that was not 'forced', if you will.
This person was ready to take this step, no fight within his soul.
The lovely words used about "admiring the setting sun", "soft sounds", "the air must be sweet"...
This person made this choice willingly; yet at the end he finally "saw" the beauty that always surrounded him.

You wrote it simply, not offensively...through the eyes of the 'one' leaving.
Celia


Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This was mind blowing. I love it so much. It is definately going as a favorite. Stupid noose not letting you enjopy the view. Haha. The hanging in the country has begun once again. Very nice

Posted 11 Years Ago


Damn, it was really sick and twisted. I mean, as I was reading, it was going smoothly and I thought it was one of those "feel good" poem. That was until I read the last line...

It's a real clever piece you've created, so it's all great tho...


Posted 11 Years Ago


This was beautiful - full of lovely description and a dark ending. (: I really was expecting something a bit happier, but was pleasantly surprised. This was well-written & great to read over and over. =)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Well, you certainly kept up the suspense and good feelings right to the 'bitter' end. Good write!

Posted 11 Years Ago


this piece is very bittersweet! it made me think of all the simple things like swinging that i did when i was younger, when life was carefree and we thought everything in life was great and beautiful. you captured the simplicity of life beautifully!
laceyjane

Posted 11 Years Ago


Jasmine (Blade and Blood) sent this to me to read... She knew i'd see the brilliance in your writing :D while she and others seem to feel this is a poem about suicide, my friend Belinda (she's on the phone) and i didn't go straight to the suicide idea tho. too ambiguous to just jump to that conclusion. my friend and i were discussing your piece here and we both agreed that your poem could also be speaking from the voice of one being murdered as well and the one dying is looking at life all around thinking, "damn, i should have stopped to smell the roses a lil more before now..."

no matter what the intent was, it is a brilliant poem filled a passion for life :D

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

Posted 11 Years Ago


Words can't describe how wonderful it is, to be able to appreciate the smaller things in life. Or are they the smaller things? You have a magnificent way with words, Jason, and I love how you express your thoughts.

Way to go!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautifully done Jason.
Artfully written with a brilliant
surprise at the end.
Great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

damn wow! this is soo good i love the ending so cool its like sweet and inoccent in the beging then the end amazingly written

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

beautifully, and artfully done jason, nicely written
te color works perfectly, the entire scene reminds me
of blue skies, thanks for sharing such talent.

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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21 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 17, 2008
Last Updated on April 18, 2008

Author

Jason
Jason

Pasadena, CA



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