As I swing

 

Under the firm oak

Where squirrels burrow

And the shade forms a cool spot

-I swing

 

Admiring the setting sun

And the scattering birds

The spring clouds gathering color

-As I swing

 

Soft sounds of the rocking rope

Rubbing against the strongest limb 

Reverberates a slow and steady creak

-As I swing

 

My feet dangle

Over fresh green grass

That connects with the pastures

-As I swing

 

The air must be sweet

That is If I could breathe it in

But damn this rope that squeezes my neck

-As I swing

Reviews

[BelieveInCelia]

I understood right from the start what this was about...
The gentle setting, words you used presented an ending that was not 'forced', if you will.
This person was ready to take this step, no fight within his soul.
The lovely words used about "admiring the setting sun", "soft sounds", "the air must be sweet"...
This person made this choice willingly; yet at the end he finally "saw" the beauty that always surrounded him.

You wrote it simply, not offensively...through the eyes of the 'one' leaving.
Celia

[BenightedWhispers]

This was mind blowing. I love it so much. It is definately going as a favorite. Stupid noose not letting you enjopy the view. Haha. The hanging in the country has begun once again. Very nice

[Joseph - Michael]

Damn, it was really sick and twisted. I mean, as I was reading, it was going smoothly and I thought it was one of those "feel good" poem. That was until I read the last line...

It's a real clever piece you've created, so it's all great tho...

[Sarah]

This was beautiful - full of lovely description and a dark ending. (: I really was expecting something a bit happier, but was pleasantly surprised. This was well-written & great to read over and over. =)

[Angel's Lady]

Well, you certainly kept up the suspense and good feelings right to the 'bitter' end. Good write!

[laceyjane23]

this piece is very bittersweet! it made me think of all the simple things like swinging that i did when i was younger, when life was carefree and we thought everything in life was great and beautiful. you captured the simplicity of life beautifully!
laceyjane

[Staci Brown]

Jasmine (Blade and Blood) sent this to me to read... She knew i'd see the brilliance in your writing :D while she and others seem to feel this is a poem about suicide, my friend Belinda (she's on the phone) and i didn't go straight to the suicide idea tho. too ambiguous to just jump to that conclusion. my friend and i were discussing your piece here and we both agreed that your poem could also be speaking from the voice of one being murdered as well and the one dying is looking at life all around thinking, "damn, i should have stopped to smell the roses a lil more before now..."

no matter what the intent was, it is a brilliant poem filled a passion for life :D

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[justjenn_2u]

Words can't describe how wonderful it is, to be able to appreciate the smaller things in life. Or are they the smaller things? You have a magnificent way with words, Jason, and I love how you express your thoughts.

Way to go!

[a Messenger]

Beautifully done Jason.
Artfully written with a brilliant
surprise at the end.
Great job.

[Courtney]

damn wow! this is soo good i love the ending so cool its like sweet and inoccent in the beging then the end amazingly written

[vanishing]

beautifully, and artfully done jason, nicely written
te color works perfectly, the entire scene reminds me
of blue skies, thanks for sharing such talent.