As I swing

 

Under the firm oak

Where squirrels burrow

And the shade forms a cool spot

-I swing

 

Admiring the setting sun

And the scattering birds

The spring clouds gathering color

-As I swing

 

Soft sounds of the rocking rope

Rubbing against the strongest limb 

Reverberates a slow and steady creak

-As I swing

 

My feet dangle

Over fresh green grass

That connects with the pastures

-As I swing

 

The air must be sweet

That is If I could breathe it in

But damn this rope that squeezes my neck

-As I swing

Reviews

[BelieveInCelia]

I understood right from the start what this was about...
The gentle setting, words you used presented an ending that was not 'forced', if you will.
This person was ready to take this step, no fight within his soul.
The lovely words used about "admiring the setting sun", "soft sounds", "the air must be sweet"...
This person made this choice willingly; yet at the end he finally "saw" the beauty that always surrounded him.

You wrote it simply, not offensively...through the eyes of the 'one' leaving.
Celia

[chris]

the ending supprisd me, it is a nice piece of poetry

[chris' girlfriend]

wow it seemed so peaceful. that is an amazing poem!!!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Wasn't sure at first if the ending would be as it is or you were just enjoying a lovely day on the swingset - either way - great poem. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well now thats what I call a twist... It shows regret as this person chose to take their life now realizing the beauty life can hold... Very well done.

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

For a minute there, I was thinking that this is a great poem that doesn't involve death. It really caught me off guard by the end. I thought you were talking about a child the entire time and then the end just blew my mind.

Lovely work.

[Wildfleour]

EEwww....surprise ending. It seemed so childlike and innocent at first........nice twist.

[Damien Dsoul]

That last verse sure paints a grimy picture, but other than that, the poem is very tranquil and impressionistic. I love the way you ingeniously blend the atmosphere of nature into the work.

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Oh wow... This one is just... wow... The ending was so unexpected and I absolutely loved it! As I started reading it, I felt tranquilized as I imagined all of these descriptions, thinking foolishly that you swinging of one of those playground swings... but then, you cleverly sneak up on me with pure excitement as I realize this is a suicide poem. You're good, buddy... you're good. ;)

Thanks so much for sharing! It had a great twist in my head. ^^

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood

[Dressed in Poetry]

This reminds me of "The Yellow Wallpaper" by Charlotte Gilman. There's the outside message, but then at the end there's this eerie feeling that the narrator just hung himself. I like it though.