Windward View

Windward View

A Poem by James Paulin
"

Tactile

"

Windward View

 

in prayer’s humble petition

as sails depend upon the breeze

Great God, tame or move the air

when storm strong or wafting tease

 

howls of white blast in blizzard

gentle gusts flutter warm caress

fickle moods that none control

source of pleasure and distress

 

fragrant lilac scents flow in spring

camp wood smoke drifts when lazy

fog rolls in and out, then melts away

summer drafts cool days hazy

 

to see flags flutter with a flap

to hear a rush whip swirling by

to taste floating salt of ocean mist

to face stiff blows from blackened sky

 

woo-woo to whisper even crying

wind songs echo human emotion

gives or takes as both foe and friend

sweet greeting or stirs commotion

 

element of sense and essence

swished over and fanned around

gives pause to stop while savoring

natures serene whistle sound

 

© 2009 James Paulin


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Featured Review

You have a great ear for connecting words together that sound lovely. Where this falls down for me a bit is in the syntax. In places it's more like the stacking of sentences that are related, rather than the composition of poetry as a whole. In this respect some of the inversions, that fit with the prayerlike tone, make me wonder if it was easier to place the words that way rather than solve the puzzle. Perhaps this is harsh, but I think your work is strong enough, that you should make syntax a priority. Still, lovely sonic qualities and theme.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a beuatiful write I enjoyed this.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Congrats a second time on your great winning poem!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Congrats on your great winning poem

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Another lovely poem. You really do have a way with words. I just wish you'd use more punctuation and period and comma usage. It would flow so much better than it does now. But still a good read.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You have a great ear for connecting words together that sound lovely. Where this falls down for me a bit is in the syntax. In places it's more like the stacking of sentences that are related, rather than the composition of poetry as a whole. In this respect some of the inversions, that fit with the prayerlike tone, make me wonder if it was easier to place the words that way rather than solve the puzzle. Perhaps this is harsh, but I think your work is strong enough, that you should make syntax a priority. Still, lovely sonic qualities and theme.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow James. You have a magical gift with your flowing words. I very much enjoyed this poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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289 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on May 29, 2009

Author

James Paulin
James Paulin

MI



About
After 38 years of working as an automotive design sculptor, I retired and have been doing a bit of fishing and writing poems. I've gotten better at both and had some recognition. Most of my poems are .. more..

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