Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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INNER STRUGGLE

INNER STRUGGLE

A Poem by FlawedByDesign

INNER STRUGGLE

Inner light darkened in the haze
Mind so twisted, body in a maze
Feelings neglected and left for dead
Such is the wasteland in my head.

Plagued by indecision, a mere skeptic
Doubt befalls me, I'm feeling frantic
The cathartic sentiment pouring out
A faint voice echoes the shout.

Let your heart speak your true intent
Dare the quill to touch the parchment
Words unspoken have no meaning
Archaic rhapsody, oh what a feeling!

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


Author's Note

FlawedByDesign
It has no punctuation for a reason.

My Review

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Featured Review

Very concise protrait of self doubt and self deprication. Fighting your way out of this fog can be very difficult to say the least. Much like the second one that I have already read and reviewed this is a well written description of something people have a hard time explaining to themselves, much less a friend or doctor. Nice write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I have some constructive criticism for this poem - I feel, in my opinion, that the rhyming scheme, which gives a poem structure, conflicts slightly with the deliberate lack of punctuation, and the story/situation is a little more difficult to follow than your other work (namely Tail End Of It All). However, I like the use of language, and the lyrical style of the poem. I will be reading the further installments of the poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


Very concise protrait of self doubt and self deprication. Fighting your way out of this fog can be very difficult to say the least. Much like the second one that I have already read and reviewed this is a well written description of something people have a hard time explaining to themselves, much less a friend or doctor. Nice write.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know of the haze you write of. I see why you have left out the punctuation. For me, it seems that putting them in would slow up the rythmn and the uncontrolable rush would be lost. I haven't tried writing poetry for some years now, but I feel the need rising again.
For english being your 3rd language, I'm very impressed.

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on June 14, 2010
Last Updated on June 14, 2010

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

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