SUBLIME

SUBLIME

A Poem by FlawedByDesign

SUBLIME

Gazing into your clear night eyes,
Is like staring at the lucid stars,
Lost in the precious moment,
Wishing it would forever last,


A blind mime said to me once,
To hang on to times like these,
Serene and adolescent pure,
Too few and far between,


“Give in to your desires”, he said,
Kiss her gentle, silky smooth skin,
Raise her to dance amidst the clouds,
Set her body and mind ablaze,


Make her tremble in ecstasy,
Hold her tight in your warm embrace,
Let her come back down to earth,
A night neither of you will forget.

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


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Featured Review

You've painted this poem with a lot of emotions, and it shows!

"Raise her to dance amidst the clouds"
is a particularly eye catching sentence, in a poem full of eye catching sentences.

I wouldn't say there is much to be criticized in this write, but the meter could probably have been better, which would have added to the aesthetics of the write.

Very well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.



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Reviews

Wonderfully vivid with a great story teller quality to it. Good display of emotion. I enjoyed reading this.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

So much of a description. Kind of makes you think more and it gives you a bit of an image of what's going on. Great Job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


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Sublime is such a wonderful word! and so was this piece

Posted 9 Years Ago


Beautifully written
well done

Posted 9 Years Ago


The only thing I ponder is the blind mime, What is the meaning with this?

All in all, this is a great poem, great job. :]

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love this it speaks to me and makes me think you got the real meaning of this

Posted 9 Years Ago


Such lovely verse............I am entranced.......

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This has a quality to it that makes the reader hold their breath as they read it. It's also good advice to love and cherish all the moments but especially the quiet, serene ones. This is really lovely and very memorable.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mmmm i love the image of the blind mime imparting earthly advice. the whole piece is such a phantasmigorical dream.. softly patterned, gently spoken.. dreamy and delicious!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

good work

Posted 9 Years Ago



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988 Views
16 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 26, 2010
Last Updated on June 26, 2010
Tags: poem, poetry, love, romanse, sensual, sublime, rapture, affection

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

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