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WHAT YOU ARE TO ME

WHAT YOU ARE TO ME

A Poem by FlawedByDesign
"

What you mean to me...

"

WHAT YOU ARE TO ME


What you are to me cannot be contained on this page.
I dare only compare you to what my eyes can see.


What you are to me;
Is the breath of life kindling souls from slumber,
the tender crackle in their first morning step.
The happiness that fills their joyful being,
as they delight in the allure of this world.


What you are to me;
Is the melody of the morning sunshine
sung across the waking golden horizons.
The mythical oceans of the boundless world,
resounding the azure sky’s exquisite smile.


What you are to me;
Is the elegant wind caressing my soul,
holding my endless hope in its warm embrace.
Destiny’s fate protecting my soulful dreams,
clutching pieces of the puzzle that is me.


What you are to me;
Is the spectrum of colours in my bright mind
painting pictures of you from dusk until dawn.
The night-bird’s song of eternal devotion,
as shadows of the night dance the love away.


What you are to me;
Is the flutter of butterflies in my heart,
whenever I witness your dazzling beauty.
The euphoric splendor in my moonlit eyes,
as your sweet lips utter the words, “I love you”


What you are to me;
Is the luminous star in the nighttime sky,
cradling my precious wishes to fruition.
The moon’s charming gaze whispering lunar dust,
showering the Earth with radiance and grace.


Know that you are all this, and so much more to me!

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


Author's Note

FlawedByDesign
Winner of the following contest,
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Contest!!!/11231/

My Review

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Featured Review

Obviously, the first thing I'm going to do here is to praise the imagery. Very impressive! I would not start quoting lines here, as I do not intend to post your poem again for you. Almost all lines are exquisite. This is true poetry.
I think the matter of fact tone with which you describe such images of splendor lends the poem an enchanting tone. Just like someone is telling his love what she means to him. Rhyme might have detracted from this, so your choice of structure is very well thought of!
I will attempt to point out a few areas where this poem can be improved though. In my opinion atleast!
3rd stanza, last line
"resounding the azure sky’s exquisite smile."
The phraze azure sky is quite cool! I've used it myself, once. But "resounding" doesn't seem to be the word that should have been used here. Maybe you should investigate this.
4th stanza, second line. This is so negligible a flaw, you might become incensed, lol. But I'm a perfectionist ;) And I think "it’s" should really have been "its".. "its" is a possessive pronoun, which is what you mean here, while "it's" is an abbreviation of "it is"
5th stanza, fourth line. I think the article "the" wasn't needed at the beginning of the line.
You would have recognized that these shortcomings are of minor import, and do not detract from the awesomeness of this poem :)
Another great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A true tour de force, captivating, beautiful, magnificent. Congratulations on a well deserved win.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i think somebody is in love...i have a hard time with love sonnets because they always sound like country music songs...

Posted 9 Years Ago


Amazingly described some one very truly.....
Each line is so much admiring for the person you love
I loved these lines
""Is the flutter of butterflies in my heart,
whenever I witness your dazzling beauty.
The euphoric splendor in my moonlit eyes,
as your sweet lips utter the words, “I love you” ""
It shows how you fall in love every time, when that the person is in front of you.....

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Liz
This is very beautiful. I love the imagery. Simple and elegant.


Posted 9 Years Ago


{God!!!--this is gorgeous deceleration of love--and--
i think that this clarifying first line is a nice creative touch}

"What you are to me cannot be contained on this page.
I dare only compare you to what my eyes can see."

{and this is my favorite verse--although every verse is so beautiful}

"What you are to me;
Is the flutter of butterflies in my heart,
whenever I witness your dazzling beauty.
The euphoric splendor in my moonlit eyes,
as your sweet lips utter the words, “I love you” "

{NO JOKE...this poem is luscious with thick luxurious imagery !!!}

...i love it...

james:-)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the repetition of this poem .It really portrays your need to express how important this person is to you.

What you are to me;
Is the flutter of butterflies in my heart,
whenever I witness your dazzling beauty.
The euphoric splendor in my moonlit eyes,
as your sweet lips utter the words, “I love you”

This is my absolute favorite part because I know just how that feels

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dude...listen to your peeps....this was probably my favorite of yours that I have read so far. the repeating line was mesmerizing and the descriptions were unconscious. What you are to me; a very good poet.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I surely hope I'm not being too presumptuous here and please do correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that Linda has had a profound effect on you my friend. Please tell me you wrote this after reading "Teach Me To Whisper", or tell me to f**k off.
Regardless of influence, or possibly "because" of it my friend, you've done an incredibly beautiful thing here. Your choice of words and word combination's are even more prosaic and more deeply aware and sensitive than I remember your other work to be,(which is a great accomplishment). This seems to be one of the best poems I've read of yours so far. I forget that English is your second or third language, yet your grasp of it is astounding, Bravo

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm sure it's been said a hundred times by now. But the imagery and detail of this poem is magnificent. Very good write. Now I defiantly want to read the rest of your works.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You are a true word man. Your words roll out like a Leonard Cohen song. Each line strengthening the poem. I like the description and the great feel of love in your words. A outstanding poem. Thank you for sharing.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago



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1137 Views
26 Reviews
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Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on July 6, 2010
Last Updated on August 17, 2010
Tags: poem, poetry, love, romance, devotion, affection, adoration, beauty, indescribable

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

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