OCEAN'S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

OCEAN'S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

A Poem by FlawedByDesign

OCEAN’S THE WOMAN THAT IS YOU

Woman of fashion draped in blue,
erasing footsteps in the sand.
Seducing toes with lapping waves;
caressing earth in your expanse.


Sun adorns your indigo face,
glistening heaven on the skin,
as light-rays penetrate the soul;
revealing the secrets within.


You dance on the songs of the wind;
twisting, breaking to the rhythm
of roaring currents in your breast,
as your pearls echo ocean’s hymn.


Many have ventured to your heart,
lost in the waves of your desire;
in the abyss of coral reefs,
encompassed by deepest sapphire.


Wash me over with your sea waves.
Embrace me in your mystic blue.
Let me sink to depths of your soul;
I want to feel you through and through.


Graced by soft cerulean robes,
breathing turquoise of the sky’s hue;
I give in to your warm embrace.
Ocean’s the woman that is you.

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


Author's Note

FlawedByDesign
This is in response to Linda Marie Van Tassell's "The Ocean Is A Woman" which can be found here http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/linmarvan/331042/

After reading her piece I was inspired and she was gracious enough to allow me to write a poem akin to hers using a different structure and rhyme scheme.

***PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ BOTH POEMS BEFORE COMMENTING - This poem is not meant to be better than the original, but I hope it is a worthy companion to it :)

Winner of the following contest:
http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Poetry-Makes-the-World-Go-Round/11602/

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Featured Review

This is a very good companion piece to the originial poem, written with wit and skill. The good flow makes it all the more enjoyable. There are many great lines to quote. Needless to say, I really enjoyed reading this poem, and, as I have had the privilege of knowing the inspiration behind this write very well, I can safely say that it does justice to the poet's intention :)
Great job once again!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Absolutely awesome. I feel with intense depth the symbiosis you achieve in this skillfully beautiful piece. Well deserved and admirable companion. Kudos.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Very nice job. I can see that within the lines your descriptions allude to Tassells poem and I can hear your admiration for it in the overall theme. It's almost like an answer to what you've heard. Your lines are more compact but elicit a wonderful tone with your words. Great job.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very fluid and beautiful..i loved the stanzas..
Wash me over with your sea waves.
Embrace me in your mystic blue.
Let me sink to depths of your soul;
I want to feel you through and through.


Graced by soft cerulean robes,
breathing turquoise of the sky’s hue;
I give in to your warm embrace.
Ocean’s the woman that is you...
well done..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is a different perspective from Linda's, I think they both work together and as stand alone pieces. Beautifully crafted and rhymed as I have come to expect from you.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Fabby....the overall feel was soft and supple like a woman with a plethora of great anaologies to pick from, all of them accuately stated. There was a soft sighing to this one, exactly as I would picturte it sounding like on the beach at sunset when the sea is brushing its hair, one hundred strokes and the night graces her like a silken sheet.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Excellent job. It's different from the original, I think, but I like your perspective on it. It makes me want to visit the ocean :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is another really good poem! I love all the blue words you used; they were really nice. :)
I loved the good flow, as usual, and they way you rhymed and set a rhythm. It was so nice to read.
Of course, I also love the ocean and the color blue, so this poem made me smile.
Once again, amazing job!
I thought the original poem was good too :)
~Julia T.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There is strong powerful words used in this. I love the word "sapphire" it stands out so much and I admire it. I can tell the difference between yours and Linda Marie Van Tassell's poem. You talk about what the woman is wearing at first as Linda Marie Van Tassell starts her poem differently. Both poems are full of beauty of this woman and that beauty is carried out with each stanza creating beautiful imagery. It gets the reader drawn very quickly.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ah! this is such beautiful poetry -
you have outlined an excellent comparison with every detail in place and the flow is so smooth which i really appreciate.
i have not read the other one you have mentioned here as yet but i sure will and soon


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ivan, what a great accompaniment piece you wrote here for Linda's poem. They go together like gentle waves in a hidden cove.

Wonderfully done my friend, I'm sure she is very appreciative of this!
Antonio :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 9, 2010
Last Updated on October 20, 2010
Tags: poem, poetru, ocean, woman, you, blue, sapphire, indigo, cerulean

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

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