LIFE...A BEAUTIFUL GAME

LIFE...A BEAUTIFUL GAME

A Poem by FlawedByDesign

LIFE… A BEAUTIFUL GAME

In my world the sun seldom shines through,
Clouds obscure thick, the sky in constant cry,
It is hard to make sense and live my life,
My wings are bound, I’m unable to fly,


The skies will breathe, the sun exhale the light,
I’ll unclench my fists and grab hold of my days,
Break the shackles and take glorious flight,
To imbue my soul with heavenly rays,


Colours unraveling in front of my eyes,
Painting pictures of the earth and the sky,
While I’m forced to drown in my solemn cries,
Watch the life beat, and the beauty arise,


I shall dabble my brush in the well of life,
Adorn the horizons vivid with delight,
My gentle strokes will give birth coast to coast,
Spring nights of intrigue and days joyous bright,


I sit and contemplate as days go by,
Life is a beautiful game, I ache to play,
Instead I observe and lavishly decay,
As once-in-a-lifetime moments slip away,


I will conquer what is eternally mine,
My life, my belle, my ubiquitous flower,
Shade my future a masterpiece by design,
This paint stricken canvas is mine to devour.

© 2010 FlawedByDesign


Author's Note

FlawedByDesign
There is rhyme present, but it is inconsistent for a reason, so I hope it works.

The poem tells a story of watching life unravel from the bench and then living life in alternating stanzas.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

It certainly does work.

It's a fine example of a poem based upon a metaphor, some of the stanza's feel surreal but I think that's what you're aiming for here, the feeling of change and insecurity in your metaphor for life.

Interesting take but the ending is strong as if ytou're willing yourself to take those first few stepr striving towards freedon.

Lovely write as always Ivan :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Sorry to be late with this review I just have so many .Anyway I love this piece it's very depressing ,but it works somehow .

While I’m forced to drown in my solemn cries,
Watch the life beat, and the beauty arise,

Those are my favorite lines reminds me of edgar allen poe a little :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


the alternating uncertainty and the inconsistent confidence to seize life and live to the fullest..I think you achieved what you intended well done

Posted 8 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the alternating verses of observation and action. I often find myself doing something similar in my life. I watch and observe and then I am taken by an urge to create and experience. There is a darkness to your pome and I feel the longing to break out of it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


when we are depressed we see the world in us in black and white...and it becomes darker and darker by degrees like a sunset...until it fades to black...and knowing that we cannot fade without a struggle...we acknowledge there is potential in life...if only we could ascend to it...and as if struggling against a ton of weight on our shoulders...we strive to rise up against the odds and seize what needs to be ours...and in-so-doing, haul ourselves up by the shorts and join the human race... I had a tough time early in the year...wrote a poem similar to this one...maybe not as lush as this on, but very similar in tone entitles "Darkness"...check it out and see if we aren't on the same page...
Nice piece chronicling overcoming the urge to underachieve...to be undertaken by the undertaker...lol

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Instead I observe and lavishly decay,
As once-in-a-lifetime moments slip away"
Powerfully-evocative words these. Fine lines. Indeed the poem itself seems to be evocative of fine lines: the fine lines between happiness and melancholy; experience and inertia; success and failure, etc. There is a see-saw nature to the verses, leaning from all that can be and all that isn't. Ironically, it reminds me of the life of a writer: spending much of the time dedicated to the appreciation of life's vicissitudes, while at the same time, living them only vicariously. It is a moot point as to which is the better - appreciating what one misses out on, or living without really appreciating. Perhaps this is why writers exist: "to observe and lavishly decay"...
A very interesting piece of work, and really well written. It does what all poetry should do - it makes you think.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It certainly does work.

It's a fine example of a poem based upon a metaphor, some of the stanza's feel surreal but I think that's what you're aiming for here, the feeling of change and insecurity in your metaphor for life.

Interesting take but the ending is strong as if ytou're willing yourself to take those first few stepr striving towards freedon.

Lovely write as always Ivan :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The use of art as an escape from the drudgery of life is very Nietzsche-esque. It carries with it a message of hope and triumph over depression, while balancing that still precarious position the narrator was in, in the first three alternating stanzas.

The only quibble I have is the 13th line: "I shall dabble my brush in the well of life," -- The word "dabble" just feels out of place in this sentence. Though the usage is correct it doesn't have the same flow as the other stanzas, making it sound very awkward.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I like it :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


The skies will breathe, the sun exhale the light,

I LOVED that!!!!!!! This poem....it radiates happiness, but then it hits you in the last stanza that it isn't happy at all. I don't know why, but I love this to the point of tears lol. Nicely dne.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. Lovely write. I love this one. The rhyming scheme seems to go along with the poem. Great job! :D

Posted 8 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1075 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 25, 2010
Last Updated on July 25, 2010
Tags: poem, poetry, life, game, play, triumph, success

Author

FlawedByDesign
FlawedByDesign

Stratford, Ontario, Canada



About
The name is Ivan - I'm 31. I am originally from Bosnia and Herzegovina. I left my country in 94 because of the civil war. After emigrating, my family lived in France for 2 years before coming to Canad.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Saxicolous Saxicolous

A Poem by OT