In The Depths Of A Dark Forest...

      A cold, blustery wind swept past my face as I stood there alone, petrified, clueless, in the depths of a dark forest. Suppressing all the questions that took form in my mind with every hoot of the owl and chirp of the crickets, I took a step forward. The sound of a twig breaking from my weight echoed through the almost silent wilderness. There was no sign of movement. I continued to walk with heavy steps under the starry night-sky; the huge trees around me prevented even a speck of moonlight from reaching the ground. My ears, listening closely for the softest of noises, abruptly heard a low, inhuman sound that froze me in my tracks. Oblivious of the forthcoming danger, I slowly turned around to locate the source of the sonance.

      The ravenous beast’s ferocious yellow eyes met mine. In the blink of an eye I spun around and ran for my life, though knowing I was sure to be followed. In a distance I could hear the rapidly approaching footsteps. I feared looking back. Unaware of the fact that my legs were taking me deeper and deeper into the ghastly forest, i kept running. The beast seemed determined enough to have me as his dinner that night. With my heart pounding, throat as dry as a desert, and clothes wet with sweat, i came to a halt; not because of my feet’s inability to take me any further, but due to the sight of the monstrous trees that rose into the gloomy night-sky, stretching all the way up to infinity. It was an unusual setting. The trees were positioned in a huge circle, seemingly standing guard to something. But the thing which i found more disturbing was the small gap between the two trees standing right in front of me. It seemed as if someone had twisted the tree trunks out of shape, especially for me to pass through. Without wasting another moment I slid through the small opening. Alas! I wish I hadn’t. Beams of shining white light, appearing to originate from the heart of the evergreen circle, pierced my eyes like arrows. My eyes adjusted to the light before they fell upon its genesis. I couldn’t believe my eyes. In all its glory, emblazoned with all kinds of gems, shimmering with a glow, stood a gleaming brand-new sword, as if patiently waiting for someone...waiting for me.

      I neared the tree stump into which the sword was fixed. Inching closer to it, I read the words engraved on wood: “Now or Never”. It all happened so fast. I pulled out the sword applying some strength. I felt the beast’s presence behind me. Without giving another thought I turned around, and the last thing I saw was blood. Everything went pitch black. All i could see were words, words in red ink, blinking on my computer screen, saying...“Game over. You win.”

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[elioaks]

I really liked the sudden twist at the end. I have to admit, I'm a sucker for those kinds of endings. However, there were some points when you used very intelligent vocabulary ("...fell upon its genesis" or "...the source of the sonance"), and they didn't sit well with me. That high-level vocabulary is tricky to use in a first-person narrative because you first have to convince the reader that the narrator is someone who would use those words. The protagonist's voice wasn't consistent and therefore made the story a bit choppy at points. Other than that, great story!

[Zoya]

Yeah, I agree. Thanks for your time and review!

[wordman]

you are creative,great story,loved it

[Zoya]

Thank you so much :)

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the story dear Zoe. I like the story line and the characters. A perfect ending to the tale. "Game over. You win." Thank you for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[Zoya]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Coyote :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Zoe.

[Najam Us Saher]

Oooh...How amazing....so creative....what game was it ? 😁

[Zoya]

Haha, some sort of imaginary game xD thanks a lot for reading and reviewing :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Very nice imagination...I thought this was inspired from a true event....You are most welcome...☺

[Zoya]

Thanks again ^-^

[andrew mitchell]

hahaha clever story, clever twist, very, well done in all aspects of this story, it went to plan i think.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, sir!

[Abhishek Asthana]

Waao.. what a better gaming performance by your desktop and your graphics cards give you more than the general productivity...hahaha... whatever you have written, it was a 3-D visualization for us and overall it was good multimedia experience... undoubtedly you have done splendid job in this short piece...just one suggestion that the red ink you used for "game over" just to show the sense of computer display,, this should be written in black itself as it could draw the attention of the reader and could start reading it from the bottom half which really would be an injustice for this imaginative piece... i really loved it :)

[Zoya]

Oh, right, I thought the same. I'll change it to black :) Thank you so much for reviewing. I truly appreciate it!

[Abhishek Asthana]

it was really a pleasure for us... in fact thank you for sharing this unique piece... this time a comical one received from the most talented young writer...really enjoyed

[Zoya]

Ohh thanks so much :) it really means a lot

[Pravir]

Hahahahaha . . . . it was the best story of urs till now . . . i burst into laughter after reading the last line . . . really hatss off to your talent . . u made the plot the so much realistic that it paced my heartbeats. . therr was suspence in every line . . perfect description. . . the best part is how ur story connected to me . . . i was really living for a while in that jungle. . . you have a great word power . . .it was a bit prblmatic for me to understand few lines but was able to decode it . . . i think if you use simple words to descibe the deepest feelings then reAders like us whose english is not so well could enjoy ur every detailing . . . . but really it needs a standing ovation for this masterpoece of urs . . . keep sharing

[Zoya]

Oh, thank you so much :) I really appreciate your words!