Corset

And the corset tightened.

I gasped not for air,
but for the scent
of dew drops
on the crisp, sun-soaked grass,
the aroma of the fresh leaves
swaying to and fro
to the winds' lullaby.

I gasped for
the fragrance of
wild flowers, the clay,
the nature
that always was
greener on the
other side.

Reviews

[The Iron Horseman]

Very nicely done. I loved the metaphor and you allusion to the grass always being greener elsewhere. The imagery was very evocative, particularly the references to natural scents. I too love those smells, and the way they all change in the winter. A fine piece of work.

[Zoya]

Thank you for your kind words! So happy you liked it :)

[The Iron Horseman]

You are very welcome.

[BlackPrince]

I guess the corset here, being a tight and uncomfortable clothing gear worn by women for beauty's sake, is symbolically used here to represent our own self-imposed frustration, covetousness and lack of contentment, always thinking that the grass is 'greener on the other side'.

[Zoya]

Right you are. Thank you for reading! :)

[Ethan]

Hey, this is pretty good. I'd avoid using descriptions that can possibly contradict though (eg. crisp v.s. soaked in sun), but get job

[Zoya]

Thanks much for the review! Appreciated :)

[θεά]

So beautifully crafted, so delicately mounted. Your poem can be read in multifarious ways. A plaint of nature, a cry of the smothered soul within the rib cage, a gagged person in a restrictive relationship. It all makes sense. The grass is always greener, however, wherever you water it. Lovely idea, beautifully executed.

Full points.

Best,
M.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Mallika! I'm glad you enjoyed :)

[Simba]

Lovely expressive words, great poem

[Zoya]

So glad you liked it! Thank you, Simba :)

[Suhd]

Such fine piece of writing. Clear and reflective.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Suhd! :)

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Wow a clever metaphor poem, u really can express in a sublime way young poetess. I like the imagery u employed to convey your thoughts. Kudos.
Always keep writing.
Pls do comment on my newest poem too, I like hearing from u,

[Zoya]

Thank you so much for the review! Would soon check out your work :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

this is beautiful and very clever at first i thought by the title it was going to be about ladies in the old days with corsets but was pleasantly surprised, love it, thanks for sharing

[Zoya]

So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you, Julie :)

[Flowers of Eternity]

I like the way you used corset to decribe trapped or imprisonment. Very creative!

[Zoya]

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

[AllauraRose]

Sometimes we feel imprisoned in something like work or school or even a relationship and we long for fresh air either being literally or figuratively. Very well written, great job!

[Zoya]

Right you are! Thank you for reading and reviewing, Allaura! I appreciate it :)