You

You

A Poem by Zoya

You are made
of the same substance
as that of gravity
for in trying to break free from you
do I realise that only
you can keep me grounded

You are cut out of the same fabric
as that of the waves
for you bring countless valuables
to the shore of my heart
each night

You are made of
the same particles
as that of the sun rays
for the night turns
a lighter shade of black
when specks of you are present

You are of the same sort
as that of a snow crystal
for your lack of warmth
isn't enough to keep me away
from admiring your beauty

You are of the same origin
as that of a conch
for your silent demeanour
does less to deter than
the cacophony of the seven seas
raging within

You are of the
same nature as that of Death
for I can't help falling for you
knowing full well that
you lack something as integral
as a heart

© 2021 Zoya


Author's Note

Zoya
Thank you for stopping by. You are beyond appreciated🌻

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Reviews

The ending was an amazing twist! I love poems and songs with a twist and you did it perfectly. The truth is, everyone is made of stardust- but some just lack a heart.

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Wha...? Where? Holy freaking mole!!!!! I feel like I should say: GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP, GIRL!!!! but the poem is also fantastic, and that ending wasn't expected. Way to have it be as manipulative as the "you" in question. Brava!!!

Posted 1 Month Ago


Things I love about your poem -- picking examples that are sorta familiar but you use each one in a unique way, dispelling any sense of familiarity & leaving room to ponder . . . and using a parallel structure verse by verse, but changing it somewhat so each verse is unique. To me, this is the crux of using a repetitive form wisely. The conch shell is definitely the best idea & even tho I love all your other ideas, I would try for a poem where every example is at the "conch" level of originality (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Month Ago


I enjoyed the complete poem dear Zoya.
"You are of the same origin
as that of a conch
for your silent demeanour
does less to deter than
the cacophony of the seven seas
raging within"
I loved the above lines. Honest, strong and direct. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Month Ago


seems like we are paired up,we both come from the same bolt of cloth

Posted 1 Month Ago


Nice to see you back Zoya.

I like the premise behind this poem ... a philosophical conversation with someone with whom you are enamored.

The emotion is understated ... kind of matter of fact ... which works well in this context.

"for in trying to break free from you
do I realise that only
you can keep me grounded"

This bit from verse one could read

for it is only in attempting to break free of you
do I realise
that only you keep me grounded

but that is just me. What you have written works very well.

The good thing about Word is you can play with the verses as much as you like and at the end not save the changes ... something I do quite a bit.

At any rate, you are doing a great job. Keep it up.

Posted 1 Month Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on February 24, 2021
Last Updated on February 24, 2021

Author

Zoya
Zoya

India



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