Boy Meets Girl

Boy Meets Girl

A Story by Mr.Commentator

this is how they met and the start of a flower of love blooming

It all started when a boy noticed a girl one day at school with a sparkle in her eye that hed never seen before, he thought to himself "oneday if i get the chance, she will be my love".She noticed him from a far , they were nervous to talk to each other because they were scared to mess up, to mess up and be embarassed,so oneday the boy got enough courage to say hi, he said it with a shaky voice, and then the girl said hi back, they knew they saw it in eachothers eyes, but they didnt know how to express it, so they started talking over the summer and by the end of summer they were dating, by this time they

© 2011 Mr.Commentator

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"By this time they-" What?! What happens?! I want to know!

Any way. Great write. Keep it up!

Posted 9 Years Ago

I haven't explored yet to see if this story thread picks up in other submissions as new chapters. I will check that out. A few typos and merging of words. As a novice writer, with a lot of potential, you have a few things to learn. I feel sure you will get the hang of it. Was it your intent to end this in mid sentence? I remember reading once that one should never end a sentence at the end of a page. One wants to keep the reader turning the pages, so never provide a stopping point at the end of a page.

While I'm not a professional writer, I do read a lot and could give you a few pointers if you want them. I will look at your other works.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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So far it is good, yet I notice that it cuts off and does not pick up.
Other than that, this is very good!
Much better than my poems if you'll read them.
Great job!

Posted 9 Years Ago

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5 Reviews
Added on December 5, 2011
Last Updated on December 5, 2011



Venice, FL

Hi I am Taylor, I have been writing now for 3 years, and enjoyed everysecond, i hope you like my writing as much as i like making it more..

Rain Rain

A Story by Mr.Commentator