Nothing

The time 

the place 

to make the space

to make or steal

to f**k up or feel

but not for long

the time to steal 

but not to kneel

or cave or crack

or bend or slack

the change in time 

that makes me mine

and once the old stale blood disintegrates

there will be nothing left to hate

nothing at stake

the place to make or take or steal

the stamp that creates the true, true feel

It's perforating and debilitating

maybe I'm hallucinating

drifting towards something 

I have everything and nothing

Reviews

[Shane Mohamed]

Seems like a dark confession of some sort. I'm glad to come across a poem that finally rhymes. Thanks for sharing.

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

Beautiful rhythm here! "The stamp that creates the true, true feel" along with "once the old blood disintegrates" bring about great thought and capture the mood of the poem.

[audrie]

I appreciate you taking the time to read this!

[radio raven]

I really like the flow, makes it an easy ride without effort.

[audrie]

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it.

[Beau Maysey]

I like this piece a lot, it drifted on without much turbulence, even with an unsteady rhythm.
Seems like the poet here has taken some happy drugs and is peacefully slipping away into bliss.
An interesting and engaging to such a topic. Well done!
I'd say now just look over the poem to see if there are any rhymes you feel are forced and fix them up a bit.

[audrie]

Ha ha! Thanks for the thoughtful review - I am only an amateur so this feedback is helpful!

[Your Teaship]

I love the rhythm and rhyming! It feels like something that's meant to be read swiftly; as if urgent or hasty due to the bitterness the words hold. Like hands are pushing. There is a lot of emotion in the piece and it's very well written!

[audrie]

thanks Your Teaship for taking the time to review this. I am very pleased that you liked it!

[L.u.c.a.s.]

Your word choices and rhythm is wonderful! Really good read =)

[audrie]

Thanks Dustin - I appreciate all reviews - It makes me feel good about what I am writing because I am only an amateur

[Wynter Ignatius]

I too find the ending quite well encompasses the overall feeling of this piece. You take to rhyme and disjointed measures like I often do myself, yet in that raw release you take to heart the chaos that is "structured" thought and emotions without conforming to a style or need to keep things to a metered pace.

Kudos and keep it up.

[audrie]

Wow! what a wonderful review! I appreciate the time that you took = ]

[Ranger Kessel]

i have everything and nothing...great line there. great all around:)

[audrie]

Thanks so much for taking the time to review this, It is greatly appreciated!

[goldifada]

amazing ...... bravo !! :)

[audrie]

Thank you so much for the review!