She

This piece of writing is based off of the characters She, Whatshername, and Whatshisface created by the band Green Day :) (in this story, She and Whatshername are the same person :3)

All she ever knew was music.  Whenever things went wrong and it seemed like she was in hell, music was her escape.  That's why she wanted to be a musician; not for the fame and fortune, but because it was her escape; her safety line.

All her friends left her, but she didn't mind; Father never liked them.  Whenever she spent time with them or associated with them in any way, he beat her.  No friends meant abuse only when he was drunk and angry--which was unfortunately every night

She's gone from the world of reality when she plays that first note; the music has taken her.  Her entire being is fully into playing her guitar, and unleashing the music.  That's what she lives for: unleashing the music.  She doesn't have to say it to know it's true.  Whenever she plays--whether it be at a gig, or just privately in her room--her essence screams that this is what she truly lives for.

I honestly love her most when she's performing.  It's when she unleashes all her emotions for all to see; even if I'm the only one who notices.  She's pure beauty on stage, whether she's strumming her guitar softly, or shredding it and screaming out painfully true lyrics.

She performs with her band, but it might as well just be her onstage; everyone is focused on her.  She sings of moments and memories her fans could never understand, yet I experience every memory with her: when she sings of abuse, I see her bruises; when she sings of loneliness, I see her shut herself from the world.  And when she sings of self-harm, tears form in my eyes; I had t watch her harm herself, and couldn't do anything about it.

Some of her songs speak of love and heartbreak.  It's hard to hear her sing these songs as well; they remind me of her happiness with other men.  She would always tell me what happened: when they kissed; when they broke up; even when she swore she'd marry Whatshisface.  It hurt so much, yet I stayed there and listened.

No matter what, I am truly in love with her.  She's beautiful and mesmerizing up on that stage.  In a few years, she'll make a solo career and travel all over, and I'll go right along with her.  Because I an in love with Whatshername.

Reviews

[Tala]

Wow, really nice piece. although i usually don't enjoy music-loving characters i liked this because of your muse, really nice way to expand. There were a few things i thought might be better if you changed them, just to help things flow.
the part where it's something like "she's gone from reality when she plays that first note" would be better inverted "when she plays that first note she's gone from reality" and maybe chabge reality to "the world" even though it's cliche. you could remove the "she's" from "whether she's strumming"
"everyone is focused on her" would be more poetic if it were "she's who everyone's focused on"
"i see her shut herself from the world" doesn't exactly make sense so perhaps "shut herself off" or just "shut off"
and "she's beautiful and mesmerising up on that stage" would add better emphasis as "up on that stage she's..."
i really did enjoy this, especially the colloqial tone which made it really seem like we were hearing what this guy felt about her.

[Gabi Lee]

Thanks! I see what you mean, and appreciate your constructive criticism.