Bleedin' Deadly (OOPS I DIDE)

It's the first chapter of Bleedin' Deadly. Epic win is epic.

I wasn't really the one to ever think about death, and even when I did, I always imagined it as some painful, slow, horrid experience that would only cause desolation for myself and the ones close to me. Lots of other, more optimistic people always told me, "No... there are lots of ways to die that don't hurt so much... Those come more often that the painful ones." And so I was reassured.

 

Unfortunately, I was one of those less-often ones... My death was not quick, and it was not tortureless. Then again, I didn't really die... really.

Maybe you want to know some of the details first, before I go on... Probably the general stuff like, "how did you die", or "where are you even going with this; you're kind of depressing me". Fine, fine. I'll back up. Just for you...

In reality, it wasn't too long ago, but it feels like a lifetime. (Technically, it was. Ha-HA... Get it? ...Oh, never mind.) Ah, when I died... I swear, I remember every second of it. It was actually kind of pitiful... Well, you asked for it.

 

It had been a rather stormy week. The longest it had stopped raining and thundering was maybe three hours every two days. Since it was Friday, I decided to go hang out with some friends after school. They all came back to my apartment, where I lived with my parents on the top floor-- number six. We sat in our school clothes and ate ice-cream out of the box while we watched some really bad Japanese anime and played like we were on Mystery Science Theater 3000, adding every bit of unnecessary commentary we could. Some of it was funny, some of it was crude, and some of it was so funny we almost spat ice-cream out of our noses. I noticed it was getting late, and the guys gradually went home. (Yeah, I don't get along very well with chicks, so I have a lot of guy-friends.)

 

After the last one left, I noticed it had stopped raining, so I opened a window to let a nice, nighttime breeze in. The air smelled good outside. Like orange blossoms and spring flowers. I leaned out just barely and took a deep, relaxing breath, but as I went to go back inside, I slipped on a piece of paper on the carpet and I fell backwards, whacking my head first on the window frame, then the sill, then the corner of the coffee table. Pain shot through my whole body, but mostly my aching skull. Black fuzz slipped over my eyes and shut out the fading evening light, and the roaring in my ears drowned out the sound of the cartoons still on the TV.

 

"Til? Til, wake up!" A male voice sounded in my ears, but I couldn't tell what it was saying. The black velvet veil was starting to lift from my vision. A loud groan escaped my dry throat. It was nighttime.

"Til...! Tilly!" I felt pressure on my shoulder and then my head throbbed with an undeniable pain. I moaned and raised my hand to my head, feeling a tender lump on my forehead. I opened my eyes slowly to see my friend Matt leaning over me, his eyes looking very worried behind his frameless glasses.

 

"Matty?" I groaned, my voice cracking. "Christ on a cracker..."

"What's wrong?" he asked carefully.

"My head... How did you get in?" I replied slowly.

"You left your key in the postbox again. Do you need a doctor? That's a pretty nasty bruise... You've been out for hours." He sure seemed to talk a lot to be Matt...

 

"Naw... naw, I'm fine... just fine... Uhh... ice-pack and headache medicine, stat." I grumbled. He stood up and went to the kitchen, getting me a bag of frozen raspberries and a couple of Extra-Strength Tylenol. About half an hour later, I was able to stand without my head swimming and almost-passing-out again. Matt guided me to the couch and I rested my head on his lap. I wanted to go to sleep again... the Tylenol was starting to take effect. The cold on my forehead felt good. Matt wouldn't let me go to sleep, and he insisted we go to the doctor's the next morning, because you never got any service in the ER. (Last time I was there, I was having an asthma attack, and they made me wait four hours before they even called my name, and then I had to wait two more hours. I probably would have died if Matt hadn't come to my rescure with my inhaler in hand.) Instead, we stayed up all night and talked.

 

No, this isn't where I die. You got your hopes up too soon.

 

I stayed out of school the next couple of days until I could stay upright for more than thirty minutes without getting dizzy. It turned out I didn't have a concussion, but I was pretty close. Matt insisted he stay with me the next couple of days to make sure I was okay. We got the OK from my parents, and he was my nanny until I felt better. My 18-year-old, male, overprotective nanny. He kind of got annoying, but that was okay, because I knew he was just looking out for me, and I knew I would be doing the exact same thing if our situations were reversed.

 

About a week later, the weather was starting to warm up and the rain had stopped. I'd heard that a couple of other kids in the building were having a rooftop party during Spring Break, which was drawing close. I'd decided to go to that with the guys; we were always the life of the party, and we didn't care what anyone else said. When the time for the actual party was upon us, Devan took me shopping and bought me a new outfit to party in, because he always complained that I never wore party-appropriate attire. I usually hated sparkles, but he insisted on this teal halter top because he liked the colour with my eyes and said all the boys would be drooling over my pretty back. When it was time to get bottoms, I absolutely would not budge on the black skinny jeans I'd found, so we compromised and I bought a pair of teal heels to match the top to make him happy. Devan was the fashion nut in the group, always critiquing everyone's style and telling me that I dressed too much like a guy.

 

We arrived at the party, me in my new outfit, and the guys in clothes they'd usually wear to a rave or something. (Except Devan-- He always dressed like he was going to a party.) As soon as we walked through the door to the rooftop, the happy, fun atmosphere swallowed me whole. I was immediately smiling and laughing and looking for some hunk to dance with. Since there weren't many hunks there that weren't total jerks, I ended up dancing with Matt and Alex while Devan lingered, hitting on random guys. (He didn't care if they were gay or not, he just liked to hit on them.)

 

Some guy I'd never seen before was there. Tall, blonde, sturdy... He had the brightest blue eyes I'd ever seen. He didn't look any older than twenty. He certainly wasn't dressed like someone planning to dance the night away with his black suit and Fedora hat. He looked kind of menacing, really, standing over by the punch and watching people like that. Devan totally tried to warm up to him, but was turned down quickly. I snorted out a little laugh as I watched my friend stalk away, defeated. But then he looked right at me. The guy, not Devan. He walked up with a little pout on his face. Devan, not the guy.

"Any luck?" I asked with a chuckle. Devan simply shook his head.

"That guy is really hot. I'd totally tap that." he grumbled. I laughed out loud.

"Well, you never know. You might find someone even hotter at the gay bar you and I are going to next." His face lit up, then he looked confused.

"Guy-gay bar or girl-gay bar?"

"Why would I take you to a lesbian bar when neither of us are lesbian?"

"Good point."

"Hey, I'm gonna grab some punch. Be right back." I said, then met Matt over by the punch bowl, which was away from the hustle of the party, nearer to the hip-high ledge that was the edge of the rooftop. I grabbed a cup of the strawberry-banana-with-subtle-touches-of-alcohol-that-was-probably-added-by-Jeremy-at-some-point concoction and leaned against the ledge, feeling the breeze on my neck.

"Having fun?" Matt asked.

"Hey, Matty," I greeted before answering, "I am genuinely pumped. You?"

"Having a blast," he replied with a smile. The guy was looking at me again. I paused with my drink poised above my mouth to stare at him staring at me.

"Something wrong?" Matt asked. I shook my head absentmindedly, pulling out of my little trance to shrug and cross my ankles. But when I did, one of my heels broke and I fell the wrong way... right over the ledge. I didn't even have time to scream, let alone think before my upper half collided with the concrete six stories below. The last thing I saw was Matt yelling, leaning over the ledge, reaching for me.

 

But then I kept seeing that. And kept seeing that. Then I realized the utterly disturbing silence I was hearing. Or not hearing. (I never understood how one could "hear" silence...) I'd crashed into the sidewalk and probably every bone in my body was smashed to smitherenes. There was so much pain my mind just blocked it all out. My body felt like jelly. Then I saw Fedora Guy lean over the edge. Why was he the only one moving? He stepped on top of it as if he was going to jump, then floated leisurely to my level. Yeah, you heard me right: he floated. All hands-in-pockets-toothpick-in-mouth leisurely. He knelt down next to me.

 I stood, rubbed my head, and huffed. I wondered how I'd survived that. I mean, I just FELL, HEAD-FIRST FROM SIX STORIES UP. Seriously. I looked down and saw something that probably used to be a person. I could vaguely see black hair, palish skin, and a teal... sequin... top.

Uuum...

HOLD UP. WAIT. HANG ON. PAUSE... WHAT? I was standing outside my body. Man, I was a trainwreck. There was blood everywhere, my limbs were poking out at odd, sickening angles, and I could see bones jutting out of the sockets in some places. I wanted to throw up. I looked at Fedora Guy. He was looking at my body, too, only he seemd totally unfazed. I pointed at myself in horror, unable to speak. He looked up at me, raised an eyebrow, and took the toothpick out of his mouth. We were silent for a long time before he finally spoke.

 

"Yo." he said. I frowned. "In case you haven't noti--"

"Apollo? What the hell are you doing here?" Another male voice said. I looked over to see a generic-looking emo kid standing there. Fedora Guy frowned.

"Azrael? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm delivering a soul, duh." Emo indicated towards me. I looked surprised.

"Uh, no, I am. Didn't Gabirel tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Oh, Jesus." Fedora Guy outright faceplamed. "Some messenger he is... Here." He handed Emo a file that he must have pulled out of his a*s, because I didn't see where it came from. A third male appeared. I wore a REALLY surprised look. He looked a lot like Jesus Christ.

 

"Yeah, man?" Jesus asked all smooth-like.

"Nothing, just making an objection." Fedora Guy dismissed.

"It's all good." And then Jesus disappeared. I was about to punch someone in the face. Emo had been looking through the file, and handed it back to Fedora Guy.

"My mistake, bro." he said before disappearing as well.

 

"OKAY." He was finally able to continue.

 

"In case you haven't noticed, you're dead. However, I'll give you a choice." he finally said. I motioned for him to go on-- being permanently silenced and all, it was the only think I could really do. "You can either finish dying and meet my good brother Azrael again, or you can agree to work for me in the name of God and live again." I glared. How was I supposed to make a decision if I couldn't say anything? Honestly.

"You can talk, believe me. It's not that hard." Fedora Guy said impatiently. I glared some more. He raised an eyebrow. "Weird." he muttered. My palm collided with my face in an epic facepalm of doom. "Okay, then. Let's play a game of charades." He smirked and folded his arms across his chest, looking at me expectantly.

I held up two fingers.

"The second one." he said. I nodded, then I held up one finger.

"The first one." I shook my head, then held up two fingers again, then made a motion to go on.

"Make up your mind, bird." I facepalmed again. This guy was immensely dense. I repeated the motion.

"Oh, you want me to elaborate?" I nodded like he was some kind of idiot. "I dunno, just, uh... Like... get my coffee every once-in-a-while." My eyebrows shot up. Yeah, that sounded like a job God would ask for. He looked back at me uncomfortably. I kept looking at him. Fedora Guy seemed really bad at lying. Finally, he cracked.

 

"Okay, you caught me. You've been chosen to become an Angel of God upon your death, but you have to prove yourself first. Something freaky has been going on with the recently dead, A.K.A. we haven't been receiving them. Azrael delivers everyone, whether they're going to Heaven or Hell, but he claims he's been unable to find them. Your mission is to find out what's going on and eliminate the problem." he explained finally. Sounded fun. I got to live, too, which was an added plus. I wasn't going to die before I lost my virginity, that was for damn sure. I gave him a tumbs up, then held up two fingers. He raised an eyebrow.

"You serious?" he asked. I nodded. "Huh. I didn't think it'd be that easy. The last chick wanted a 'reasonable explanation why she should help'. Well... brace yourself." That was a bit contradictory, since I had no freaking time to prepare myself for the exceedingly-- for lack or a better term-- totally freaking strange feeling I was about to experience. It felt like someone had dropped a wet mattress on me.

Then everything came back. The weight, the light, the sounds... I could barely hear Matt's voice calling my name. As I came back to reality, I found the mysterious man was carrying me back to the building. My body was okay. There was nothing wrong. I guessed that was just one of the perks of being an ethereal being of God.

 

Cool.

 

"Where're we going?" I mumbled.

"Back to the rooftop. You have some friends that need to stop worrying. They all think you're dead." Fedora Guy told me. I nodded slowly. My neck was stiff... for good reason. We emerged on the rooftop and the entire party had stopped to watch us walk past. He set me down in a chair, and all of my friends crowded around me. Devan was shedding some manly tears for me.

"How... are you alive?" Alex asked. Matt was holding my hand, making sure I was real. I looked at them all, then smiled.

"I beat Death in a game of Battleship and he brought me back." I joked. Maybe it was best if they didn't know about the guy... What was his name again? I don't think he told me... Speak of the Devil. He pried through the crowd and ran his index finger along my jawline, like I was some beautiful sculpture he'd just finished.

"Be more careful next time. I'll be back for you tomorrow." And then he walked back into the mass of people and was gone.

Author's Note

I will never be done editing this. ._.

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This one was really awesome, I loved your writing style and also the story line a lot..I was totally into it while I was reading it.
Great work :)

[Shelly Araujo]

The first paragraph is so smooth, you barely feel the words. Often chapters I read here on the site do not flow as well as this does. I would love to open a window and smell ". . .Like orange blossoms and spring flowers." very nice