A Chapter by freelancejouster








my alarm blares

and flashes a violent red,

blinking and blasting,

like someone's in trouble,

though Lassie's nowhere to be found.


i blearily reach for it,

but a small, smooth hand reaches it first,

surprising me.



she rubs her eyes,

and with a sheepish smile,

asks me if she should leave so i can get ready.


i open my mouth,

but a furtive scramble through my mind

reveals a coquettish laugh,

a tie-dyed dress,

and a small scar on her lower back,


her name has escaped me.


but, i am incredibly sly, and so,

"i think that would be best, cupcake."








© 2011 freelancejouster

Author's Note

hypocorism: the use of forms of speech imitative of baby talk, especially by an adult. pet names.

My Review

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a whimsical little anecdote. for such a small child she speaks so adultlike asking him if she should leave...the child is so formal, has boundaries, and propriety. the person feels obligated to impart some kind of baby talk. great scene. very original and ironic of hypocorism.

Posted 8 Years Ago

Oh dear, such an awkward scene you built up here. I like the comparisons you made in this one, especially the alarm and the allusion to Lassie. It's also a bit humorous that he's (assuming it's a guy, but it could be a girl considering this is written in first person) surprised by her presence. Also, the "furtive scramble through my mind" is wonderful imagery, very beautifully written and descriptive. I like that you chose 'cupcake.' Another good one. 98/100.

Posted 9 Years Ago

hmmm... interesting one...

Posted 9 Years Ago

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3 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on February 24, 2011
Last Updated on February 26, 2011
Tags: sleeping, night, forgetting, morning after, humor




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A Chapter by freelancejouster