dirty princess deeds

dirty princess deeds

A Poem by freelancejouster









your glitter is boiling down
to liquid plastic,
and you're trying to swim,
again,
in that vat of acid.

tell me something,
dear, could you,
please?
what does it feel like
to have gravel in your knees?

there's something here,
something archaic,
something mean,
something that hasn't been looked at well,
since your mother was homecoming queen.

and there was dancing,
probably,
not that you would remember,
you were in that back alley,
a baseball player fizzling your ember.

a garbled gurgle,
a rant and a rhyme,
that boy had you hooked
without a sinker or a line.

did you know that your tiara tilts,
just like her's used to?
you're cinderella,
but held on to both
of your glass shoes.

no one knows
what you look like
with your make up off,
blacked eyes,
blotted out,
lost your breakfast,
covered with a cough.








© 2011 freelancejouster


Author's Note

freelancejouster
i can't rhyme. we know this already. i might do something more (better/different) with the first couple stanzas sometime later.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
OT
everyone can rhyme! ha it's just whether you prefer it or not - rhymes are nice sometimes - depends how the poem wants to be written haha - I think some of the rhymes can be strengthened by syllable omission - like -

"a garbled gurgle,
a rant and a rhyme,
that boy had you hooked
without a sinker or line." - without the second 'a' (or both really) it reads faster and stronger - you can be cheekier and the grammar/punctuation doesn't have to be so proper - obviously not to the extent that it's illegible ha but clipping sentences can add to poems flow yet retain the meaning. As for the content - this is great - dark and powerful - the despair and desperation at times - truthful pain and at times a little Seuss-ish! nice!!


Posted 13 Years Ago


Rhyming isn't necessary, it's all about what is in the body of the poem and the feelings it evokes. Wow, this is packed with reality, despair, andgritty truth. I love it.

Posted 13 Years Ago


I really like this, especially when it says
"your glitter is boiling down
to liquid plastic,
and you're trying to swim,
again,
in that vat of acid."
It's powerful and haunting, thanks for the RR (:

Posted 13 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

251 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 24, 2011
Last Updated on March 30, 2011
Tags: dark, weird, thoughts, lies, party

Author

freelancejouster
freelancejouster

WI



About
i'm a muppet with his secrets revealed. i'm a lost teenager. i'm a rugged adventurer. I'm a bumbling novice. i'm an awkward intellectual. i'm a tear-stained lover. i'm a starving artist. i'm an.. more..

Writing