A Chapter by freelancejouster

prattle along now,
don't swallow your tongue,
too long it is
for your large mouth,

it would get lost inside,
and you look beautiful
as you move,
void of sense or science,
in that ghastly tent-dress,
but you knew that already,
or i would have suspected so,
i mean,

if i were you, or rather,
you were i,
we wouldn't be in this mess,
now would we?

but you need this now,
didn't you know,
that this is important,
important, important.

if i say it seventy times,
perhaps you'll understand
a bit more like i do,
but then it doesn't matter
because there's not much
truth behind us
to begin with.

© 2012 freelancejouster

Author's Note

taradiddle: a small lie; fib or pretentious nonsense
(by request of Abhijit)

Channeling Alice in Wonderland

My Review

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the only thing i can think of is you telling her she looks good in that dress because she needs to hear it...not sure otherwise. for some reason i found this one a little cryptic

Posted 9 Years Ago

the first stanza is a bit... whats the word... hmmm.. well anyways, it doesnt flow as smoothly as it could... also, the idea that you were trying to convey is sort of lost in the wordliness of it...
"at bit more like i do," s4, l3
i think you meant "A bit"
idk how i actually feel bout this poem dear... sorry...

Posted 10 Years Ago

This one feels like a discussion in Wonderland... perhaps a friend of the Duchess dropped in for tea and unwanted conversation :o) great work!

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on March 30, 2011
Last Updated on April 18, 2012
Tags: lies, humor, weird, thoughts, life, request, definition




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