In Silent Words

Collaboration with Jack, the Master of rhyme & romance. Thank you so much my dear friend, you raise me up. ♥

In Silent Words

 

I sat upon a cool zephyr waiting for my true love

seasons passed without a tug upon my heartstrings

winter took a fall, within summer's heated grip

spring’s poppies never sprouted their happy essence

 

Here within this day dream my heart it breathes the air

Finding but an empty scene within this prism’d view

Colors bathe my body as so I am much aware

Loneliness my constant friend now waiting here for you

 

i tried  to rise above the sun

the moon kept calling out my name in chant

only darkness danced in the pale of night

i lay my head upon the shoulder of surrender

 

Tears now form the mist a’ drench of all that I do see

Weeping fluent as the moon which falls on me this night

Star light open canopies of gemstones shining free

Blur beneath the vision as my heart does hold this sight

 

to find a sweetness in my own name

Of every season lone of dreaming

love shed a crimson tear in a whisper

In silent words which have no meaning

Reviews

[s y e]

Oh my, wow! This was so..... beautiful! There is so many beautiful, passionate lines in this write guys. For some bizarre reason while I was reading this, the song, You Raise Me Up was playing in my head, haha. I dunno why though.

"Star light open canopies of gemstones shining free
Blur beneath the vision as my heart does hold this sight"

The imagery in this piece was amazing, there was so much. It was a like story came alive on the screen. You guys really aced this piece. The collaboration was great!

Going in my favorites. 100/100

[Frieda P]

So jazzed you liked it farfalle, it's not hard to look good when Jack's got your back. I agree with the line you picked, of course it belongs to the master!

[s y e]

Oh yeah, featured review! Woohoo! :)

Haha, does it? Aaaaah, definitely the master then! :P

[Frieda P]

Oh Yay...and yes, the master! ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

well answer because you are blonde!

[s y e]

I haven't a scooby what you mean John...

[beautiful dreamer]

it not the orignal scooooby its the fake inflatible scooooby! lol i'll explain myself in pm's

[Lily Mae]

Your thoughts and emotions are both perfectly interwoven into a superb write. It is flawless..xo

[Frieda P]

Wow Lily, thrilled you think so, thanks so much. xo

[eglantine]

"winter took a fall, within summer's heated grip" in my opinion, the best line, well, a tie with "I tried to rise above the sun" Trying to reach beyond what we can see, what is offered us.

[Frieda P]

You got it in one, unlike Pete's puzzle ;-) Thanks so much eglantine...

[Marie]

This is so lovely...it has sadness, it has sweetness...it glitters with jewels and flows with tears...

[Frieda P]

Wow Marie, that means a lot coming from you, thanks.

[Brianna Brie]

Well, I must say you and Jack write well together. This is a lovely poem. So many great lines including "I tried to rise above the sun the moon kept calling out my name in chant." Kudos to you both!

[Frieda P]

This was our first time collaborating, we have totally different styles but it worked as a whole, so jazzed you liked it Brie.

[Renée]

Great Collab ! Well Done & nicely woven you two !!

[Frieda P]

Thanks Renee, it wasn't too hard with a great poet like Jack!

[Renée]

Collabs are so fun... Glad you two enjoyed and shared !

[beautiful dreamer]

holy s**t. wowsers times like a million. put two amazing writers together i swear... this is amazing. just wow. amazing. i'm speechless. i feel like i'm babbling like an awestruck teenager. probably cause i am but this is amazing!

[Frieda P]

Lol Jen! So you are, and thanks you crazy teenager! :-)

[beautiful dreamer]

i am too what?

[Terohime]

I don't know what to say.. Well here it goes. This piece of art is simply Beautiful, The word choices that you used i this poem really brought it to life. Outstanding, it kept me hooked from the very beginning until the last sentence.

"Finding but an empty scene within this prism’d view"

That sentence stood out to me, i loved how you used the word prism'd in here it is lovely. Great job.
~Res

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Res, those were Jack's lovely words, so happy you enjoyed this one.

[Jack...]

I liked the first and third verses and two lines of the last verse the best. :)>

[Frieda P]

Ha, very funny, I prefer the 2nd & 4th, and the entire last verse is a hot jazz!! ;-)

[redflutterby]

So I assumed who wrote what right?? Lol... hell that just came out as a tongue twister... ;-p

[Frieda P]

Lol were you drinking already Red? ;-P

[redflutterby]

Hell no..I'm naturally high!! Its a redhead thing.....;-p

[Frieda P]

Ha so that's the problem, I have one ginger brother & sister,that explains a lot!!

[redflutterby]

Haha.... ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

That is an awesome collaboration of two great minds...A song of two hearts in silent words...:)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Sami, it was fun to write too. ;-)

[Sami Khalil]

Good to know... You are welcome...:)

[MOON]

Poignant write felt the ache of the loss of love great word choice and imagery !lovely collobaration!

[Frieda P]

Glad you enjoyed it MOON.