Flammable Dandelion Mutterings

i drink you in like fine french cognac

breathe you like springtime's essence

you lift my spirits like a butterfly

when you flutterby to touch my heart,

i've lived in a castle with no vision

let down my hair in portend reluctance

trusting hands caught my presence

i lost my balance and toppled over

still wary of trespassing recalcitrance

breathless i caught a glimpse

of what I'd been missing

like sweet poetry I liquefied

a lovely taste upon the lips

still frightful after all these years

your stanza brought me to my knees

i kneel in this verse, inward hesitation

in wait for an exposition to slay

my prayer is a chant of endless mutterings

let this warm light dissipate any nagging doubts

so that i may dwell in the music of harmony's concerto

sweetness of dandelions youthful yearnings

Reviews

[Jack...]

I pray you always dwell in the music of harmony's concerto dear Frieda. This poem nourished me this morning, washed over me in warm breezes and gave me breath, where none had existed before. This is absoluetly beautiful. the fact that you manage to share a small piece of your creative vision each day with us is a truly wondrous gift.

[Frieda P]

As your kind words always nourish me Jack...thank you never seems enough. x

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

This piece reminds me of that first kiss - tentative and intoxicationg full of wonder and promise, a most descriptive piece, well done, good read.

[Frieda P]

I'm glad it brought you there, thanks so much Thomas.

[Barbara Walker]

Your imagery always brings me into your poems, beautifully. This piece has such a gentle yearning. I like so many of the lines but wseet poetry I liquefied" really stands out for me. Great write!

[Frieda P]

Much appreciate it Barbara!

[clisa]

there are some good images here but there are also some problems with your word choices - portend is out of place for its meaning as is recalcitrance. The meanings are slightly off disrupting the flow of your poetry. Also I didn't know if you intended the lines,"your stanza brought me to my knees/i kneel in this verse. . . " to have a rather sexual connotation but they did an it was a bit jarring in contrast to the tone of the poem. I liked the poem, but these few things took away from what otherwise was a very nice piece.

[Frieda P]

Thanks and not entirely sure what you mean...portends means to bode or forecast...and recalcitrance is brazenness...if you read sexual in this one, it was intended, not this one anyway. Much appreciate the read.

[clisa]

recalcitrant: obstinately defiant of authority or restraint - there is a subtle difference in meaning that doesn't quite fit.

[clisa]

Also when you put women on their knees in any context it tends to be suggestive in all kinds of ways that you may no like.

[Frieda P]

I disagree but you're welcome to read my poetry any way you see fit once I put it out there...thanks again for your thoughts here.

[bluessadmood]

yes i ve lived long securely closed all doors
built my own world lonely melodies i hummed alone
thought i was serene and secure till you knocked my doors
shattered them to the floor and made an entry to places i kept closed
i felt shaking knees,heart trembled head dizzy lost all control
sweet poetry how you melt all my defenses,now no armor at all
fell so weak,and on to my knees i pray for more,slave,of things i never dreamed
now i seek sweet harmony,i missed for long,how sweet
lovely write..

[Frieda P]

You read me well, thanks so much for your thoughts here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

prequel or sequel to the Castle piece?

splendid wording as always..and that feeling that "okay my walls have crumbled, you have done that...so let me bathe in your warmth, let me give myself to you"

i have been missing love like sweet poetry...i like that concept...it is time to feel the words again, to feel the emotion again.

[Frieda P]

Ha good question jacob, not sure I know the answer to that one, thanks!

[Baby Ricochet]

Enchantment. I do that. Good one

[Frieda P]

Ha i'm sure you do Baby, I"m sure you do...thanks.

[KeeD]

I want to float away on a cloud.. sweet ray of light this was awesome.
" like sweet poetry I liquefied
a lovely taste upon the lips" Wow Frieda..your poetry takes me to places.

[Frieda P]

Ha I must admit your reviews always tickle me Kee! ;-)

[Tai Ryens]

I see you've portrayed the feeling of melting afront someone loved, the feeling of wanting to be nothing at all. I find that feeling quite addicting . . .

[Frieda P]

Glad you went there with this one Tai, thanks.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

like sweet poetry I liquified......oh! I like that line!

[Frieda P]

Glad you did Neva, thanks.

[TL Boehm]

I love the homage to Rapunzel in this, the mix of fairy tale and poetry - beautiful words and music - you've spun a stellar poem.

[Frieda P]

Love the word 'stellar', thanks so much, happy you enjoyed this one TL.