The Drowning Pool

drowning in emotions of deceit & despair

  you waded in taking chance we'd go under

       held my head til tiny bubbles appeared

i swallowed heart not to feel the pain

   rushing  inhales made it hard to see

    through the dizzying whirlpool of  twisted lies

          your guilt burnt my fused eyelids

i dove in the deep end of abstract remission

   only to drown in your bawdy transgressions

         truth surfaced to find a lifeless repose

            repast held without honor of mourning

there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed

        just an empty casket that encased your heart

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Our relationships are strange. Karina pointed out to me recently that because of my low opinion of myself I have allowed myself to get into relationships that were not healthy just because I was grateful someone cared. Maybe this is too common? As always a crafted free verse piece.

[Frieda P]

You, a low opinion of yourself? I find that hard to believe John.....thanks!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Strange how we come over to others and how we use mental defence mechanisms to swim through the swamp!

[KeelyJane]

Sometimes relationships are sink or swim and we find ourselves drowning. Keeping a relationship afloat can be exhausting. I like the metaphor here. It's very relatable and so similar by conparison to the struggles of treading water. All the effort only to stay in the same place. I like this one. :)

[Barbara Walker]

Love this metaphor with water. You can float in it or you can drown. So many dualities in life...

[Derek Nall]

i dove in the deep end of abstract remission...beautiful!

[Ohhhwillow]

This is terrifyingly solemn, Frieda, you sure have a knack for tying the right words to that stunning thought process of yours. I've missed reading your emotional reads, with lines like "I dove in the deep end of your abstract remission", it's a wonder you are still writing here, and not off with a fancy publisher! Well done dear friend

[DCT ponderings]

Such melancholy Frieda, intensely powerful and with the last lines I was rendered speechless.
there was no burial, no flowers, not a tear shed
just an empty casket that encased your heart

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad and beautiful poem. When heart is dead and bury. We can feel like death. Powerful description gave life and vision to your words. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[InsanityWriter]

Filled with sadness, but so beautifully written. Excellent piece Frieda. (:

[Astro]

Some interesting wordplay here Frieda, and a further fleshing out of your emotions creating a more tempered and tragically beautiful tale. Good stuff.

[eglantine]

I am in love with that title

[writing mojo]

regimented in immortality in this dart flowing piece...great work