Hallow'd Breathing

Haunted in my flagrant dreams,
    awake on hallow'd ground
you watch me breathe
        as I seek you out
cold spirits taunted past
           spasmodic verses chant
hollow insides afraid to sleep
  your sanctification renders me
                  uncomfortably conscious
numb within breath's shallow inhale
       undone in the nothingness of rhyme
   fearing truth's brutal reality
     bewailing in grief's heartfelt desire
pull me up to new sight'd heights
   in your wayward plight's surrender
       save me from this cruel humanness

Author's Note

Reviews

[Blue]

Very well worded, Frieda. Sorry, I always repeat my compliments to you. :P Anyway, I think in "you watch me breath", it's supposed to be "breathe"?

"save me from this cruel humanness" In my dark days, I would've nodded to this but I'm happy being human and being alive right now. ;) Don't stop dancing, Frieda. :P

[Frieda P]

I can't believe I missed that, thanks so much, you're on the ball you nutter. ;-) Will never stop dancing, it's like breathing...did I get that right? ;-P Grazie.

[Blue]

Breathing is easier, though. Haha.

[Frieda P]

Not for me..... ;-P

[Devesh]

The line that hit me was the one about being afraid to sleep. I've been there, not a very nice place to be. Beautifully written, Frieda, thanks for sharing! :) Extra marks to you because I love Amy Lee's voice( listen to 'My Immortal') :)

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here Devesh, yes, another great song, I think I know all of her work, she's amazing, I do agree. ;-)

[Devesh]

You're welcome! :)

[Avinash]

Mediocrity and pretension is the middle name of average human life and also the cause of strife to its eternal soul which resides inside it. It is up to you to decide whether you want to live like a soul or a slave.

[Frieda P]

Choice really isn't an option after your sister hangs herself Avinash, it''s never ending angst to deal with the suicide of someone so beloved. Thanks for your thoughts.

[Avinash]

I m sorry...but she is with you all the time as I have reasons to believe she truly loved you. Will you be the one to make her smile wherever she is , like a small payback to her unconditional love. Be everything she would have thought of you which would have made her happy ...In my opinion that is the best way to love back someone who we can no longer see but always feel.

[Frieda P]

Makes perfect sense in my logical head but my heart's emotions can't always go there....

[Avinash]

Give them form of another beautiful tribute to her through your magical words.........to bring smiles :)...we are all here to claim back what life has stolen from us .

[Ken Simm.]

Although the whole thing is simply perfect. That last line hit me straight between thoughts.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Ken, your kind words mean a lot to me.

[redflutterby]

I see so much in this poem...the things you have shared in your struggle to find some peace. That last line is so significant. Being human is cruel...our grief can be unbearable...our anger and guilt eats at us. We feel out of control as our minds and hearts wrestle with our demons. We long to leave this world...to escape all these things but we also want to stay here. With our loved ones and friends. And for you that is the greatest pain of all...why Lee couldnt. You know how I feel about that..weve talked a number of times. Your strength always moves me beyond words. You see yourself as a screwed up mess...but I see a survivor who uses her words to touch us all...to say aloud what she can't whisper in the ear of her beloved sister. xo

[Frieda P]

Your words actually brought tears to my eyes Andrea, you've touched my heart in a special way, thanks so much for your continued support my dear friend. xo

[redflutterby]

Thanks for yours as well...it goes both ways. Hugs...smile!! xo

[Scott Metro]

The clouds gather to dim the light and shade the word with dark edges...
Another side rarely seen.
Enjoyed the sorrow in this..
Scotty

[Frieda P]

Hmm I try not to let it escape too too often, thanks so much Scott.

[Scott Metro]

LOL...well you let it out here girl...enjoyed it..!!
Scotty

[Lydia Shutter]

"Cruel humaness" we have to deal with that every day in some form, don't we? It's a shame. Sometimes sleep is an escape and sometimes that cruel humaness comes to life in our nightmares. Which is better....sleeping or wakefulness? There is a thin line for sure. Frieda, this is powerfully haunting poetry. Lydi**

[Frieda P]

Seems that way Lydi. I can't answer that, seems half of one and all that jazz, it's always haunting no matter what, thanks so much for your kind thoughts my friend.

[s y e]

// hollow insides afraid to sleep
Your  sanctification renders
me conscious
numb within breath's shallow inhale //

Firstly, that song just fits right in to this poem and takea my breath away.

Secondly, your poem made my heart stop and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The amount of power and emotion in your poems about sister are definitely strong. Those lines I copied nearly blew me away.

I know how much you love sister and how losing her has taken a piece of your heart thar no one can replace and quite rightly so. Your sister is going to be so, so proud of the beautiful, talented woman you are and you keep her memory alive by writing about her.

Heart wrenching poem. I'm sending huggles across the pond.

100 huggles & all that jazz xoxo ♥

[Frieda P]

Holy noodles, thanks so much for your in-depth review, it's longer than my poem ;-) Muchly appreciate your kind words and support always. xox

[s y e]

I doubt it's longer and it definitely is not nearly as good as the poem. You're a survivor, Mama F and our write poetry about your gorgeous sister telling her things you can't in reality. You're talking to her through your words..... you touch my heart as always. ♥