.... dead flowers in the final countdown

.... dead flowers in the final countdown

A Poem by Frieda P
"

last breath's illusion

"
slipped into your shadow, 
      felt like darkly molten lava
    run amuck with an edge in authority 
choked on dense, upheaval's last breath
    shooting sparks within your superiority

we favored you the name death
            yet, knowing nothing more
                        then yesterday's calling,
         still  impoverished in your vitality of expression
                               an overly creative humor's
                                                  quest for productivity, 
  
comfortably numb in your belief's reality
     as deprived of knowledge 'til after the fact,
       could possibly trip the next detached illusion

© 2014 Frieda P


Author's Note

Frieda P


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Featured Review

I wish I had your finesse some days. I feel like a cave man with my club of anger, lacking in subtleties and social graces next to your metaphorical treatments of life's trials and tribulations. I can only echo the sentiments of the many other reviews here.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Laughing here, only in poetry, we chat enough, you should know that....thanks KL. ;)



Reviews

The intelligence factor is extremely high. You have flashed some brilliance here Frieda and your images shows quite a beauty.

Posted 4 Years Ago


The death of a moment as a drug, perhaps? The fleeting anticipation of knowing that the next few breaths will be your last driving you with an authoritative desire and a superior feeling and urging you to do what you never thought you could do without it, believing such a moment to be a productive one.

Hmn, an enticing yet confusing poem to me. Nonetheless, an entertaining one to read. Well done.

Posted 5 Years Ago


I wish I had your finesse some days. I feel like a cave man with my club of anger, lacking in subtleties and social graces next to your metaphorical treatments of life's trials and tribulations. I can only echo the sentiments of the many other reviews here.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Laughing here, only in poetry, we chat enough, you should know that....thanks KL. ;)
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Tom nailed it. You have such depth and breadth my Lady.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

John Alexander McFadyen

5 Years Ago

Well we both like a bit of rough lol!
Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Laughing here, you're on the ball today...haha
John Alexander McFadyen

5 Years Ago

Getting back in the flow and on the ball is good!
The middle stanza is absolute genius Mrs.R...those lines alone already have my eyes going red a little bit...you know I'm coming off a night when I've shed a few tears so this one speaks to me in ways I can't articulate in a comment box...I think I know how you're doing these days as well, and this really strikes me as a cry from the heart...maybe I'm being over-sensitive in my current frame of mind, I honestly hope I am, but that is my initial feeling coming off this piece...humour makes an appearance here, but it's cold and self-deprecating...how could it not be coming off the heels of dense upheaval's last breath? Yes, this is a sad piece, and I'm comfortably numb just like you in the midst of these lines...this is an indelible poetic imprint on my heart love...perfect song choice, but you left little to say in the wake of this piece...amazing...xo



Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Sigh, yes I know Steve....if only comfortably numb lasted longer. Thanks so much my sweet friend. x.. read more
kublakhan27

5 Years Ago

Indeed my dearest friend, if only...

My pleasure Frieda, as always...xo
I love the way song titles seem to sneak their way into your poetry. "The final countdown".....it does seem like the home stretch to death is like this....especially if the patient has a terminal illness. "Comfortably numb"....that is how I felt when visiting hospice for many days for all too many loved ones. Frieda, you can write about anything....I am convinced of that. This one is a haunting write....but still just as much a joy to read as your others. Lydi**

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Funny you should mention that Lydi, half the time I don't even realize, music is such a big part of .. read more
Impressive indeed Frieda, how you can change gears from your usual spontaneous, joie de vivre poetry and every now and again produce a more foreboding piece, yet just as creatively penned and intriguing to read as your many other fine writes!

A dark, metaphorically haunting tale, wonderfully conveyed!

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

You are a sweetheart coach, you've made my day! Thanks so much, enjoy your weekend my friend. x
Tom

5 Years Ago

And you Frieda P ....xo
Frieda P

5 Years Ago

♥♥
There is no need to look for death. It will find us when it is ready. It is patient and so are we, or should be. Laughter does help in forgetting it exists and so does your poetry. This was great Frieda P. Light shining into the dark. I really enjoyed this today.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Exactly Will...thanks so much my friend.
i use to be in a band and that is one of the songs we did .. a great tune and lyrics .. a fine change up .. you have two trees of life there! i have one tattooed on my belly :))

we deal with death far too little .. no surprise you have charged head on with this poem .. it has the last say for sure .. as death has only one expression .. the humor has to come from us doesn't it? .. and you ...such a devilish little angel .. we get past it and comes our "... next detached illusion" .. how i love the mind you express ;)
E.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

It's a bit blurry, could you have made it any smaller? ;)
Einstein Noodle

5 Years Ago

yeh .. it is! i will try .. but i do ride a mighty big tractor .. i love your pages Freida ... this .. read more
Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Are you drinking already E? ha...again with the tractor. :)
I find it more like a ode to death, you have to give up... you have no choice but surrendering to death! The words are deep and trapped you in silky realms of death.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

5 Years Ago

Ultimately, we have no choice, thanks for your visit and kind words Mayank.

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Added on July 25, 2014
Last Updated on July 25, 2014

Author

Frieda P
Frieda P

NJ



About
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..

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