It's all for you

It's all for you

A Poem by Lillian
"

I can't let you go

"

You are my oxygen. 
I need you flowing through my blood.

I need you inflating my lungs. 
You bring me to life.

 

You are my sun.

I need your warmth.
I need your light.

You bring me out of the darkness.

 

You are my smoke.

Poisoning my body.

Clogging my lungs.

Causing me to choke.

 

You are my doom.

Looming over me.
Causing me to tremble, to worry.

You are dragging me down. 

You are the center of it all.
My life.
My death.
It's all for you.

 

 

© 2008 Lillian


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Reviews

So true about love. It's always the ups with the downs. I guess that's why, in the end, with the ultimate love committment, they say "for better or for worse." And maybe that's what makes it so powerful. Again, another great write.

Posted 9 Years Ago



Sorry !

This reader just hates to see a lady defining herself by
a man and that seems to be what is happening, over and over again.

The writing is classical. You are a talented and imaginative writer.
It is such a shame that your subject matter is so flawed.

Mature individuals can not be , at one and the same time,
"doomed" and "saved" by the same person.
"You bring me out of the darkness."
If the person is destroying you, then seeing that person as
salvation, warmth and pleasure, is just being out of touch with
reality and that individual should be in counseling.

Please do not misunderstand; this writer is gifted, imaginative and
clever. The subject of her poem is the problem.

------- Eagle Cruagh



Posted 10 Years Ago


Very interesting, you showed how one person can be your saving grace and bad for you at the same time when you love them...

You are my oxygen.
I need you flowing through my blood.
I need you inflating my lungs.
You bring me to life.


I love that first stanza... amazing way to open the poem.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Agreed with the dude below me. Caught me off guard lil, way to be! But when I saw the third, I figured you'd say something about darkness next in the fourth stanza, since you had sun in the second? I don't know, just something I woulda done. But good job dude. I know this is all about me anyway
=D!
just kiddin
haha
-Bryce

Posted 11 Years Ago


I must say, I was blindsided by the third stanza... I was expecting you to continue with the positive view. I really like how you countered the positive with the negative (the yin with the yang, if you will). You tied it up very nicely with your last stanza. This was a nice, balanced piece. Well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on November 20, 2008

Author

Lillian
Lillian

MA



About
My best friend, Bryce, introduced me to this site. I love to write. However, never been criticized on it. So fire away! I tend to find myself writing in school, that's where I'm most creative. Sittin.. more..

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A Poem by Lillian



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