The Glass Sn❄️wflake

The Glass Sn❄️wflake

A Story by Gabby Gellerman
"

He never knew such a simple misunderstanding could go so wrong

"
He ducked as the plate smashed against the wall behind him shattering into millions of pieces. Shards falling on top of him he covered his head with his arms getting cut up. Two halves of a formerly full heart with Z+N=4EVER now it's just a broken heart. Zander picked up a shard of glass and gripped it tightly in his hand. It was the gift he made Natalie when they started dating in 7th Grade. It was now in a million pieces just like his heart. I gripped the shard making my knuckles turn a ghostly white. My eyes started to water, I had a knot in my throat choking down my tears, my body felt as hollow as a log and I felt heavy like my heart sunk to my feet. Natalie started yelling but all I could make out was Cheating with Co Worker, proposing. "What do you have to say Zan?" The room started spinning and I started sweating buckets. Natalie shouted," Well Zan" things started getting blurry. "Zan, Zander, Alex, Alexander Reid Bennett." My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I collapsed. My eyes opened everything was blurry blood poured from me like a river. I looked up Natalie grabbed her charm on her necklace and yanked it until the chain broke, "Goodbye Alexander"... She dropped the necklace and I was out. I woke back up last thing I saw was all white and somebody leaving slamming the door shut. That was the last thing I remember. The door slamming caused something big and heavy to fall and I was out cold.
I was having one of those out-of-body experiences, I looked at myself laying on the cold hard floor. I was just a hollow shell of my former self. I looked pale and grey, a little pasty, I didn't look like myself. I had dry blood from my cuts, glass was shattered all over and around me. I don't even know if I was breathing or not. Here in front of me lied a man sprawled out. Tears dried around the mans eyes. I heard Knowing "Zan, Zander" With no response the door came down. It was Drew Tucker my best friend. I shouted his name, no response. Drew ran over to me and tried to wake me up when he finally did I was sucked back into my body. My lungs filled up with air my heart was beating faster and faster. My eyes shot open and I coughed breathing heavily. Drew asked, "Zan, are you okay?" I tried to sit up but my arm buckled, Drew looked me dead in the eyes "Zan you okay bro?" Drew repeated. I shouted Nat. I tried to get up but I couldn't Drew helped me up "Zander you need to go to the hospital" Drew said concerned. I shook my head vigorously. I ran outside still dizzy bumping into everything. I followed the footprints and halfway I stopped dead in my tracks something shiny has caught my eye in the snow. I picked it up and Drew finally caught up to me trying to catch his breath. I held it up to the sky It's the Glass Snowflake... It glimmered in the sun. I followed the footprints and got a little worried when they stopped and tire tracks started. "Nat" I muttered staring off into the distance. I started getting dizzy again. Last thing I remember was feeling really cold and then feeling nothing. All I saw was complete darkness.
*Drew POV* I saw Zander collapse as his body crumpled to the floor he lay there lifeless as I quickly grabbed my phone fumbling it around in my pocket and I dialed 911. A woman answered and I told her everything. "Okay thanks Hurry he may not be breathing" I told her. An ambulance came 10 minutes later and I had sat with Zander and we headed to the hospital. *Zander POV* I was having another out-of-body experience. I looked around, I was in an all white room, I walked over to the white bed and thought to myself, where am I?, Who's that in the bed?, What's going on? I walked over and picked up the chart and read it aloud: Patient Name: Alexander Reid Bennett. Drew walked in the room and I followed him. I yelled "Drew what the BLEEP is going on". From behind me I heard a familiar voice. I kept repeating "Drew, Drew" The voice said. "He can't hear you" I turned around "Dad" I shouted and ran to hug him "what are you doing here" I questioned. "I'm not, you brought me here Zan" Dad responded. "But why now you've been dead for a while. Dad am I dead?" I asked. He chuckled "No Alexander you are having an Out of body Experience." I nodded, "Hey dad" he looked at me. "What happened the day you died?" "Well you want to hear the full story" I nodded, "Remember when you were 5 and I jumped in front of that person with a gun who tried to shoot me but I shot them first so they couldn't hurt that woman." I nodded. "So I was on call since I was a cop and I saw this woman holding this newborn baby and had a little boy with her and this man was holding them at gunpoint, he was just about to pull the trigger but I jumped in front of her and the bullet hit me dead on. the woman thanked me and the man got away. The woman had a tight grip on her baby and I told the woman with one of my last few breaths, Be Careful and Stay Safe. The woman cried out Thank You." I still remember the thing when I was 5 I told everyone I had the coolest dad ever." I had never forgotten that day and I never will. I thought to myself. "So Zan how is Nat?" he asked. "She hates me" "why" dad asked I sighed " I was with my co-worker Ashley Lennon, and I was planning on proposing to Nat on Valentines Day. So Ash was helping me and Nat must have seen and thought I was cheating. She flipped out and threw the gift I made her in 7th grade. Knocking me out ." I slumped down. "Where is she now?" he asked. " I don't know I think someone may have taken her all I found was the glass snowflake." I sighed. Dad stood up and put his hand on my shoulder. "Alexander you know what you have to do" "But dad I need you don't go." I cried out. "Zander I am always with you" he smiled starting to fade away. "Dad wait I..." he was gone. I sat down and just watched Drew put something into my hand closing my hand into a fist. I got sucked back into my body. My lungs filled with air, heart beating full speed, eyes shot open, breathing heavily. "Drew, Where am I." "hospital" "Where is Nat" Drew shrugged. We ended up talking for a bit. I was playing with the glass snowflake in my hand and finally spoke up. "Hey Drew" he looked up at me. "This makes no sense to me". He looked at me confused "what doesn't make sense" I sat up " Even when Nat and I are fighting she always has the glass snowflake. She refuses to go anywhere without it. If she doesn't have it than something is seriously wrong. We have to find her. Even if it kills me..."
*Natalie POV* My head was pounding I was sore all over but I couldn't move I think I am tied up. Everytime I struggle to move something gets tighter and it hurts. A light shined on me and I squinted. A figure came forward. I cried out. "Where am I? Who are you? What do you want from me?..."

© 2014 Gabby Gellerman


Author's Note

Gabby Gellerman
I'm not done writing it yet

What's your honest opinion sorry if their are any errors
Should I write more

My Review

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Featured Review

I really like the idea of this story it makes me want to read more. Remember to try not to start sentences with A or The too much as it lessens the excitement. Most of the things I would have changed are minor and will go away as you practice writing. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gabby Gellerman

6 Years Ago

thank you zoo much for your review this is my favorite story I've written in the almost 2 years I've.. read more



Reviews

I really like the idea of this story it makes me want to read more. Remember to try not to start sentences with A or The too much as it lessens the excitement. Most of the things I would have changed are minor and will go away as you practice writing. Well done!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gabby Gellerman

6 Years Ago

thank you zoo much for your review this is my favorite story I've written in the almost 2 years I've.. read more
Wow.. Very cool perspective. I'd write more if you feel the call. If not it seems like it stands well on its own. You have a wonderful imagination :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gabby Gellerman

6 Years Ago

oh I'm defiantly continuing it but right now I'm working on sibling rivalry my new story and thanks
The Nude Writer

6 Years Ago

Cool :) can't wait to read that as well :)
Gabby Gellerman

6 Years Ago

:) i hope you enjoy it
You certainly tell a good story, and I love the ending. Yes, your grammar is a bit rough, but whose isn't? Keep at it and learn. You have a million more stories to tell, don't quit now.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is very good. Yes wright more. I'm sure it will be great.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Its confusing.. it jumps from 3rd person to first.... then it toggles between whos perspective it is. I think youd be better off keeping the whole thing in 3rd person. That way you can see everyones POV and dont have to keep switching as its unprofessional and doesnt flow well. Also, the story line isnt quite clear. Dont forget to indent the beginning of every paragraph. It needs some work with grammar and diction as well but over all i like the story line. Im interested as to what happens next. Also, indent when you start a new paragraph. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


i think indents would help. sometimes when people see big blocks of texts staring at them, it turns them off before they start reading. I like it. I would keep writing it!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think this story in interesting and you should keep writing but you should keep a few things in mind. Remember to separate different topics with paragraphs, it makes it easier for the reader to follow along rather than getting lost in a huge paragraph.
Also be sure to clearly state who is saying what.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think the story and the way you tell it is great, but for a generally better writing piece try proof reading once or twice, i think you should use some similes, metaphors, or varied scentence starters to add more interest to this story.
But overall, really intriguing, i like it.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on June 22, 2014
Last Updated on June 27, 2014
Tags: Love, misunderstanding


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