shock therapy

shock therapy

A Poem by zidyMG

Had my walls up but when I put them down i got burnt and gave up on love

Shock therapy

I was getting too comfortable swimming in the deep shore, I had completely forgotten my fear of water despite the eerie silence underwater until I got a shock from an electric eel. Yes the shock therapy that saved me from drowning,after all I was a bad swimmer.'


© 2020 zidyMG

Author's Note

Does this make sense

My Review

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As a personal preference, I would like to see this expanded with more imagery . . . show me that eel approaching . . . show me the thoughts & sensations as the eel approaches . . . take your time, let the reader feel all the sensations . . . smell, taste, sound, etc. Let the eel approach before it actually stings, sometimes writers go too fast for me . . . milk a scene for all its worth!

That being said, this is an amazing symbol & I'm highly impressed with your command of using a symbol to represent a huge aspect of how it feels to be human. I love fresh writing & yours is very original & startling becuz of the unusual ways you see life. Here's how I read this -- the narrator almost thought he/she could be better than he/she thought he/she was . . . but then life stung & he/she remembered he/she is only a limited being, so he/she shrinks back from attacking life (or love) with boldness, letting a little sting push him/her back into his/her shell. It happens all the time. We accept our limitations & think this is saving us from pain or disappointment, etc. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


2 Weeks Ago

Thank you so much barleygirl, this will surely help improve my writing

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1 Review
Added on February 2, 2020
Last Updated on February 2, 2020




I put my emotions in writing as they come. more..

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