the dieing heart

the dieing heart

A Poem by sammyj
"

is there any hope at all

"

the crimson stream,

that flows from my eyes,

comes from my wounded heart.

 

draining my soul,

of memories of laughter.

 

my emotions rumble,

as a,

fiery volcano,

that refuses to erupt.

 

my very being,

shaken,

by earthquakes of dispair.

 

a tsunami of fear

clutches my throat,

unable to scream,

cry,

or yell in anger,

never to recede,

to rebuild.

drowning the future of happiness.

 

fireballs of dreams,

once thought to kindle a forrest fire

of life, and love,

 

lay sizzling,

wet and growing cold,

in the crimson stream

that flows from

my terror filled eyes,

 

weakening my dieing

heart.

© 2010 sammyj


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Reviews

Beautiful :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


crimson must be the popular color in the cafe
it fits well in any writing
this expression was filled with smooth contrasts
taking my mind in every direction pleasurably
even the last line hit me profoundly
"weakening my dieing
heart."
(I believing it is spelled dying)

Posted 13 Years Ago


Love it

100/100

Posted 13 Years Ago


Yes, dieing is spelled dying. I liked this because of its raw form and your use of words. It was very emotional, and allowed me to remember things I had experienced.

a tsunami of fear

clutches my throat,

unable to scream,

cry,

or yell in anger,

never to recede,

to rebuild.

This was my favorite stanza out of all of them. It grabbed me. However, the way you wrote this poem was a bit sloppy and ragged. I found myself pausing in places that weren't supposed to have a pause, which made reading the poem very unnatural.
Other than that great job.

Posted 13 Years Ago


very sad but very touching and i did enjoy it. well done

Posted 13 Years Ago


dieing is supposed to be "dying," yes?

Other than that, a very nice piece.

Posted 13 Years Ago


you take different events, and place it into an emotional scene! great writing!

Posted 13 Years Ago


This is a good poem. I liked this very much. Hopefully there will be hope for everyone. I would say believe in God and he will believe in you. I thought this something I could relate to. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


a heartbreaking happenstance interpreted in a deeply stirring way~ such lyrical descriptives you've woven to translate the devastated human heart~

Posted 13 Years Ago



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Added on July 23, 2010
Last Updated on July 23, 2010

Author

sammyj
sammyj

kent, WA



About
love to create. lots of ideas for short stories and novels. love to cook. love sports. born to be wealthy. more..

Writing
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A Story by sammyj



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