Raine Part Two: Do best friends break promises?

Written by: Natasha

Reagan had apologized so I should have been feeling better...I wasn't.  Anger and disappointment continued to flow through me as I grasped Tristan's hand.  Unable to face the emotion's I was feeling, I excused myself and Tristan and basically fled from dinner.  It wasn't that I couldn't see how regretful Reagan was, or see the pain behind her eyes.  It was the fact that I didn't think she completely grasped the severity of what she had done.  It would be quite sometime before my trust would be restored. 

 

As I walked with Tristan towards our house he began merrily humming the tune to 'Frère Jacques'.  Oh how I wished I had his ability to block out the tense atmosphere, to completely withdraw within myself, leaving my troubles elsewhere.  As long as he was in his own world, undisturbed, he was happy. Annie was probably wishing for the same ability, I could tell by the girls expression she had no idea the tense situation she had entered this evening.

 

Tears blurred my vision, how could everything turn out like this?  I thought back to the promise Dawn had made the day Tristan was diagnosed.  Reagan was supposed to love him, watch out for him, and care deeply about him.  None of which entail abandonment for one's own pleasure.

 

Perhaps I was being too hard on her..but I couldn't help but wonder about the next time.  How was I supposed to trust her with Tristan after what she'd done? Would she call me the next time she wanted to ditch him to be with Annie or some other friend?  I couldn't be sure..and I just couldn't risk my son's well being again.

 

      ******************

 

As soon as I opened the door, Tristan bolted inside, eager to get to his ever growing bucket of Matchbox cars.  Almost immediately he began taking them out one by one, and lining them up.

 

"Tristan"  I called from the kitchen where I stood placing my keys and everything on the table.  No response.  This isn't unusual,when he's engaged in something like his cars, I'm usually tuned out. 

 

"Tristan!" I called louder this time, as I walked into the living room.

 

"What?" He signed to me, angry at being interrupted.  The more frustrated he gets, the more he signs.

 

"Shoes baby...they gotta come off please?"

 

He gives me that look that says  'you interrupted me for that?'. I smiled as he tugged the sneakers from his feet and went back to his cars.  Picking up the discarded sneakers, I carried them to the back door.

 

They are red converse sneakers, I had to pick a shoe that he could wear the older he got, and that would be readily available.  The only time we run into a problem is when they're out of red.  This doesn't happen often but when it does, it's full out meltdown mode.  Last time this occurred he ran screaming and shoving shoe boxes off the walls for fifteen minutes, before I could get him calmed down. We came home with green, but were subsequently banned from that shoe store. 

 

Grabbing my laptop, I took a seat on the couch and logged online.  I have been unable to hold down a regular job, since Tristan's disability requires me to be available whenever needed.  Thankfully I have stumbled into a job as editor for an Autism related magazine.  It pays enough for us to get by, and live semi-comfortably. 

 

Tonight though try as I might, I just couldn't concentrate on word.  My mind kept wandering to that night and finding Tristan shivering under the park bench.  How could an apology wipe that away?  Tears slipped down my cheeks and I closed my eyes.  I was so tired of crying.

 

I felt a hand on my cheek, and slowly opened my eyes.  Tristan was kneeling by the couch, cars abandoned, looking perplexed by my tears.

 

"Mama sad?" he asked wiping the tears away.

 

"Oh baby...just a little bit.  Mama will be okay, just have to figure some things out."

 

"Tris help?" he beamed.

 

I was so touched by my son's kindness at wanting to make things better for me, that all I could say was, "You already have.  Give Mama a hug, and than I'll be all better." If only it was that easy huh?

 

He hugged me with all his might.

 

"Tris helpin'" he said, his voice muffled by my shirt.

 

" I love you baby." I said when we finally broke apart.

 

"Wuv oo too Mama." He said in his best attempt at a sentence, still beaming ear to ear.

 

Throughout the years Tristan had taught me the kind of patience,kindness, and love that  I never even knew existed.  So innocent and pure.  I needed to keep that in mind as I worked through my emotions.  I wouldn't keep Tristan from Reagan forever, or hold grudges.  My son had taught me better than that. 

Author's Note

All Raine parts are done by Natasha (midnight_mystery) please feel free to send her read requests so that she can edit/revise her work appropriately when giving certain advice. I can only fix grammar/spelling corrections, as I don't want to rewrite her parts for her, otherwise... what's the point in a co-writer? Thank you.

Reviews

[ImJustAMisguidedGhost]

I love that you write Raine's point of view on everything as well as Reagan. That way we can see her decisions and thoughts on everything with a better view, and you described her in the very relatable and true motherly way. Over-protective but always loving. I thought this was a very well written chapter(: Great write!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I like the description of her life and reasons for the things she does in this chapter. Good to have character history to make them come alive. I like this chapter. I like the people and the life style. A excellent chapter.
Coyote

[Sarah McConnaughey]

Tristan is such a sweetheart, and so easy to like. I really like Raine's point of view; you wrote it very well. Everything fits so well together. :) Another great chapter.

[E.H. Monroe]

No seriously..thi sstory is so full of hope but painfully depressing at the same f*****g time. This is what a real parent with a real developmentally challenged child goes through. Add in the inability to have a job or hold any kind of audeince and it makes for a bad scene.
This series s growing on me like a SHowtime special

[.shalynn.009.]

"I couldn't see how regretful Reagan was, or see the pain behind her eyes." Omit the second "see." It's unnecessary adn makes the sentence a little too wordy.

"It would be quite sometime" should be "some time"

"humming the tune to 'Frère Jacques'" I like that you chose such a childish adn well known song for him to hum. It represents Tristan well, because it is generally sung in never-ending rounds, and Tristan has been noted for liking his days to go exactly the same way for an infinite amount of time.

"placing my keys and everything on the table." Change this by either taking out "and everything" or just saying "my things." Saying it this way makes it seem like you couldn't think of what else she would be putting on the table.

"This isn't unusual" Jumping into present tense again.

"The more frustrated he gets," tenses again.

"He gives me that look" tensses. Just saying.

"discarded sneakers" I would take this out adn say "I picked them up." The reader doesn't need reminding what "they" are adn this keeps it from getting too wordy.

I like the story in the next paragraph. It gives insight into the difficulty of Raine's role as the mother of an autistic child. I'm assuming you know what you're talking about, since I haven't a clue. However, this whole paragraph (and the next) is in present tense.

"he beamed" "He" should be capitalized. Also, this would sound better if you changed up the paragraph structure and put "He beamed" before his spoken words. I also like that most of what he says is put into two words per sentence. This symbolizes Raine's internal struggle, which Tristan seems to sense, because the number two in literature symbolizes duality.

I don't like the last paragraph so much. I think it's a little too...in your face about what can be learned from Tristan. The reader should be allowed to infer that. Perhaps if, just by looking at him, she realizes that she can't keep him from Reagan forever, it would be less obvious about the lessons learned.

Other than that, I liked this chapter. You learn quite a bit about the relationship between mother and son and it was quite heart-touching. I think you did a good job showing Raine's struggle, but I wonder how this is affecting her relationship with Reagan's mother, who is her best friend, but...well, Reagan's mother adn therefore a little biased. But I love how protective she is towardsd Tristan, since mothers with children who are physically and mentally different can become over-protective to compensate. Good job.

I am also posting this on Natasha's page, so you will both have the critique at hand.

[Samantha (:]

I LOVE THIS. Although a tad rough around the edges, still amazing. I liked the different view points, and really enjoyed the scene at the end. It shows that, although parents of disabled children have a lot of extra things to teach, they are also taught a lot through their child's differences and realize how beautiful being unique can be. I also loved how you showed his innocence by him skipping along at the beginning, and how he is relatively immune to any sort of cruelty. It just helps to prove the point of the kindness that he taught you. Great story! (: