cliches.

lovelorn girl, i am
counting the days and keeping time on my rib cage
in rhythm with the sickness of my viscera
these bird bones have never left me light enough
to take flight-if i were vomiting sustenance instead of
{pretty words} maybe i could walk on glass
or greet the morning sun like Icarus
instead of wrapping my intestines around my
n / e  / c / k 
because Isadora 
didn't feel like sharing her scarf.

Author's Note

feedback is appreciated!!

Reviews

[Sherriff]

Increadibly gripping, such a unique style with amazing results. I feel a build up in this peice and it doesnt let you down. somehow your words carry on more presence the shaper and shorter they become. A very dark and poignant peice, thank you for sharing.

[Sam]

thank-you so much!! i honestly wasn't expecting anyone to notice this poem so the fact that you had such nice and helpful things to say about it really made my night!! this really encouraged me to try writing some more in this style-i wasn't sure if it was too abstract or just didn't work? but thank-you for your feedback!! i wrote this poem on a whim so it means a lot that it meant something to you

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i really like your delivery...you give us so much to digest in few words...and the imagery just slams me in the face and gut...
"vomiting sustenance instead of words"
sometimes i feel like all i do is vomit words...not sure there is anything worthwhile there at all.
so glad i found your page, Sam.
j.

[Sam]

thank-you so much, my goodness!! i'm so happy

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This feels like a sad and angtry piece from someone caught up in the angst of teeneage self doubt. So much so they have sunk into an eating disorder. There is a lot of passion in this piece and the opening two lines are a definate hook!

[Sam]

thank-you so much! i'm glad that the meaning was clear and wasn't too overshadowed by the style!