wanna-be b***h.

i was one hell of an insecure teenager lmao

rock star ripped nylons and 

smeared lipstick, kissing mirrors-

pretending i am

marilyn monroe, courtney love, joan jett

pretending i'm okay with pretending

i wear a face to hide my face

& pout my lips, pushing out my chest

pathetic girl, how dare you want 

attention affection validation

to be seen, to be wanted. (i want to be wanted but it scares me;

when they notice it fills my lungs up with hesitation

renders me wordless

makes my hands shake like Pele

is erupting volcanoes within my 

quaking belly.)

((i want to be wanted, but i

am

opening my veins for a peek inside

forgetting that precious life pumps through the ventricles 

and all i see is red rainwater, and all i feel

is nothing.))

Reviews

[Sherriff]

A beautiful but rough and intimate presented canvas. Stepping through the stages of this poem creates a series of feelings for me. I see many different motifs used throughout this writting, all steming from a sense of self worth and a portrayal of inadequacy. Another thing i also interpreted is the message of wanting to be like your idols, poeple of stature and presence, a common feeling among many im sure. Being younger and more susceptible to influences can be incredibly hard, and self harm seems to be something so closely intertwined with body image, that i see a very hard time in your life expressed through your words. Once again you have gained my attention and thoughts on an amazing peice of work, love the layout and the structure. Keep up the good work

[solsystemtillnervsystem]

I actually think this is a beautiful poem, with subject material we're all familiar with. I love the way you've bracketed parts of this, and crossed out some of the lines, particularly "attention affection validation". Brings attention to the real heart of the poem.

I just really like this. It's clever.

[Hailey Pippitt]

Wow that’s rough I’m so sorry. I hope things get better for you. Please be strong things will get better. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel .

[Sam]

oh don't worry, this is about me as a teenager, i'm 25 now and my self esteem is still s**t but i'm in a far better place than i was at 16! it was a rough time but i survived and felt like writing about it

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is quite good...complex feelings that are well presented...why are we still here, do we have self-worth?
we often wish to be more than we are and it isn't easy coming to terms with being JUST who we are...and accepting that we need to be the best "us" that we can.
feeling nothing can be everything that is painful...
love the last stanza so much....the red rainwater, bloody tears from the cuts of life.

j.

[John the Baptist]

If you are still alive, let me commend you on a good piece of introspection.

[Sam]

well, thank-you!