God is a kid and I’m a toy

God is a kid and I’m a toy

A Poem by Globy

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you’re just a boy
You hunt my days, you rule my nights
You are the rope, my hands that ties


God is a kid, and I’m a toy
you blindfold me, you’re just a boy
if you want games, do please say so
I’m a boy too, no need to grow


God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you’re just a boy
cheat my own eyes; but not my mind
so many years, I’ve been so blind

God is a kid, and I’m a toy
You make no sense, you give no joy
what if I kill myself tonight?
what if you kill yourself tonight?



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© 2012 Globy


Author's Note

Globy
just a point of view :)

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Featured Review

The concept of god being a kid and your narrator being a toy is great, I can see why you repeated it as a refrain. The reader is left to fill in the image for themselves, i.e. what kind of kid...destructive? cruel? happy and sweet?

Wasn't sure about the meaning of "my hand that tights", read to me like the rhyme scheme messed with your semantics. Were you trying to convey that your narrator's hand is the one that tightens the rope - or that their hands are tied tightly?

The final two lines felt like they came out of nowhere, but maybe that was the idea, for deliberate dramatic impact(?) Interesting how matter-of-factly the questions are expressed...

Thanks for your message, I appreciate you reading my work. But the site generally operates through a review system, people exchanging reviews openly - otherwise a lot of people lose out on chances to be read :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Love the title which shows what exactly is being said in the poem and also the rhyming pattern is well
played out. The rhetorical questions also spiced it up which it made it an even more creative write
Beautiful Globy :) keep writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


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Ray
Interesting point of view...though it might not necessarily be the way things are...

Posted 7 Years Ago


An interesting point of view, expressed with clever phrasing and good rhymes. Well done, Globy.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Amazing point of view.
There is a a famous Bengali song of poet Kazi Nazrul Islam with similar point of view.
Lovely work.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I don't know. I believe we can't poor God for all things. Man had led us into a bad place where no-one can win. Good questions are raised in the entertaining poetry.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


The concept of god being a kid and your narrator being a toy is great, I can see why you repeated it as a refrain. The reader is left to fill in the image for themselves, i.e. what kind of kid...destructive? cruel? happy and sweet?

Wasn't sure about the meaning of "my hand that tights", read to me like the rhyme scheme messed with your semantics. Were you trying to convey that your narrator's hand is the one that tightens the rope - or that their hands are tied tightly?

The final two lines felt like they came out of nowhere, but maybe that was the idea, for deliberate dramatic impact(?) Interesting how matter-of-factly the questions are expressed...

Thanks for your message, I appreciate you reading my work. But the site generally operates through a review system, people exchanging reviews openly - otherwise a lot of people lose out on chances to be read :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

So much truth in so little words..;

Seriously, well done!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Really Nice point of view :P I love your work and the game with the words. But why the sad ending :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

love it, just like me you tend to right with a 'dark pen'. I like it.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very nice work. I love the repetition of the first lines it kind of gives the created feeling more depth :) and I like your POV, aren't we all toys scattered everywhere in a messy room ;)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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21 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 27, 2010
Last Updated on July 4, 2012

Author

Globy
Globy

London, United Kingdom



About
Hi, i am here to read mostly and less to share. I am not such a great writer myself, but I enjoy reading a lot! Globy ---------------------------------- CopyrightsWorld.com | We can help you .. more..

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