Crazy town

Crazy town

A Poem by Globy
"

There are times... crazy times.. :)

"
Crazy town, crazy s**t
Boring, homeless in a kit
Taste of fun into my mouth
Traveling fast, traveling south

Looking around for a soul
Only rats into my zone
Taste of grace into my mouth
Traveling fast, traveling south


Look at me
I’m a star
Are you jealous?
Yes you are

Eat my trace
I’m so far
As I told you
I’m a star

Here’s nice but where am i?
I need a drink and eat a pie
Taste of fight into my mouth
I should have paid, running south

Running, running, running fast
Back to town back to past
Crazy town, crazy s**t
Boring, homeless in a kit


COPYRIGHTSWORLD.COM VERIFICATION BADGE - CLICK TO VERIFY!

© 2012 Globy


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

Awesome!

Posted 8 Years Ago


i love this piece........it reminds of a delusional loner living in a big city who just wants things givin to them. like they are entitled to the world. but they have to realized they have to work and earn their place. great piece

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It's all out there, happening. Some winning, more losing. Most not quiet achieving either.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
I found this interesting although i didn't understand it. The lines flowed very rythmatically and smoothly and the story although lost on me seems to be based on interesting ideas.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Funny, very rhythmic, and simple enough to provoke happy feelings. Not bad :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


The English could use a little touch up .. but that aside, I Like .. It tells a story, of just being out there .. .. It is crazy, and a real rat race ... if you live through the day, you are lucky ...

J. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love this! very nice. I want to go south too! :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I say keep traveling south...it's a good direction! (laughing) This comes from a southerner from North Carolina. I like to tell everyone I'm a just a hillbilly like Thomas Wolfe...(smile) This was simple and fun...and kind of crazy...which I believe was the feeling it was intended to invoke. The purpose to writing I believe is to invoke in our readers the same emotion that drove the creation of our art. If my assessment is accurate, then this served its purpose well. Pay no attention to naysayers...keep writing if its something you enjoy...there are very few who make a living writing and none who make a living writing poetry! As Robert Frost once observed, " Being a poet is a condition; NOT an occupation." Bless.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This poem sounds like you don't fully understand English, as if it's a second language to you. It seems broken and misunderstand, and quite frankly in some places a bit strange.

"Taste of fun into my mouth." That does not convey the imagery you think it does, and its connotations are a bit, shall we say, probably not what you had in mind...

I don't fully understand the purpose of the poem and it just seems like you threw a few ideas together on a whim without really thinking about it. Like I said, the English reads poorly - as if it is not your first language - and the content is narcissistic without being good enough to justify you alleviating yourself above others in a similar situation.

The main imagery I got was of a small gypsy child at a travelling circus, wandering around the big rides and stalls by herself while her mum and dad are lost in amongst the other fare goers. It made me a think a bit of Hanna - the film - but only because of the notion that this little girl is more mature than she should be, and the content was very, very strange and probably poorly construed.

I don't think it's as good as what people have reviewed it to be, and that's just ridiculous. People should tell you what your shortcomings are because to be honest you have a lot to work on in terms of getting across your idea clearly and using English properly, as opposed to using the language incorrectly without being creatively unique/effective.

"I need a drink and eat a pie" it just doesn't make sense artistically or literally. That sounds like a Russian girl saying she is hungry to some rich businessman in London.

I don't get what you've done here and it seems very, very rushed. A hurried attempt, I'd say.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
JohnnyMagrinho

9 Years Ago

It's not down to opinion whether or not you understand syntax of a language as it's pretty evident i.. read more
J. F. Charleston

9 Years Ago

My standars are none of your concern and neither is my responsiblities. I have both high standars an.. read more

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

545 Views
15 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 3, 2012
Last Updated on July 4, 2012

Author

Globy
Globy

London, United Kingdom



About
Hi, i am here to read mostly and less to share. I am not such a great writer myself, but I enjoy reading a lot! Globy ---------------------------------- CopyrightsWorld.com | We can help you .. more..

Writing
Just Seconds Just Seconds

A Poem by Globy


Be a star Be a star

A Poem by Globy



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..