Avoidant

A poem detailing my struggles with avoidant personality traits.

Pull the trigger

With your eyes behind a mask.

Put me in chains

That I can never shake.

Tell me I’m okay,

But say something different

Within the pupils of your eyes.

Coax me out of my self built prison,

Just to make me suffer once more

With the entanglement of your words

As they dance around my cortex.

Tell me again

That I’m a bad person,

But then ask me what I’m talking about.

You never said that.

Ask me why I hide away,

Have me trip over my words

As I make excuses

That I’ve heard thousands of times.

Tackle my senses,

Make the adrenaline rush through my blood.

Choose my response to the fear,

With your only option being flight.

Get upset years later

When the dust settles

On a rotten grassland.

Tell me that I made a mistake,

Tell me once more that I’m bad.

The words are comfort,

The tears are warm.

You turn your back,

I turn mine.

We are ghosts now,

Haunting this barren wasteland.

Never to be seen again.