Stretchhead

Abandoned

in the basket of masques

of masks

bamboo cradle

       rocking asleep

       to the sound of sighs

haunted

into innocence,

      corruption waits

behind the years

     expulsion pulled

and jumping

     fire circles/erase tattoo

  but breastfed 'til a man

               in comfort of the 

     womb

sucking imagined        hope

    till the stain is found

in empty face, discordant teeth

        and  broken             tongue

looking for the door;

                  slammed shut

and windows sealed

       behind

                                the

ignorance         of

                childhood

                                                  laughing

                 at the sky

            causing              movement

           of the ground

                                              and

embellishment

                                     of shoes

confused ? …,

Reviews

[Eilis]

If I were writing a paper on the theme of this poem I would say it was something like the pagan allusion for the child-adult who looks back at the past like it is a story. Just saying that because that's about half of what I've written and I have a poem that this very much made me think of, but yours has more to it than mine. Maybe I'll post mine up.

Actually, this made me think of a dark fairy tale where some kind of creature is born out of the dark matter of a series of thoughtless traumas- when I first read it. But then I thought of the idea of the title and all of the movements of the poem and yeah. I just understood it.

Again, I'm applying it to what I know of the world and so on, so it becomes a bit of my own poem in my head, but, I suppose that's what happens when things leave our heads and make their way into the heads of other people. I'm rambling. I'll stop.

After I say that I am enjoying your play with format. Feels like an unraveling here, and that, at last, feels like the point of the poem.

[gram linski]

always enjoy your ramblings, Eilis, you see many things in the dark that I have missed, aye there was a fair bit of unravelling going on, but I think you are spot on with the pagan child kinda thing, don't ask me I just wrote the f****r, lol

[Einstein Noodle]

love the form...just me own cup of tea sir... the increase in space and broken segments shortened made it so easy to find the pace in your closing half ... love it .. confused? ... certainly i am ... its abstract .. but the theme remains the telling says i ... its a rough go of it in life .. slammed doors for any number of reasons and some for seeming no reason ... go figure right!? ...i really wish i had thought of:
"embellishment
of shoes"
really like that line ... and it does wrap things up for me ... confused or no :)
E.

[gram linski]

spot on as ever, E, not as confused as I was and I wrote the f****r, I give you my embellishment of shoes, make it sing

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha ... love the title too ... a fine hook when i read it .. i treated my self to a pair of Ed Hardy sneakers years ago ... loved those sneakers ... nothing but copy cats out there now ... peace my friend!

[gram linski]

peace, love and Motorhead back at ya, with a little bit of Hawkwind on the side

[Einstein Noodle]

:))))))))))))))))))))))

[John the Baptist]

To answer the last question, well, yes, somewhat. What emerges, for me, is a kind of Garden of Eden story, a loss of innocence in a harsh world. The imagery describes a consciousness thrust out of nurturing childhood into grim experience. The door is slammed shut and the windows are sealed and the sheltered past is but a memory. I may be wrong, much of the imagery seems to point in this direction.

[gram linski]

wise words John, you probably describe it better than I ever could, thanks for reading,

[Pryde Foltz]

Excellent conceptual poem. I like the break down of the piece.

[gram linski]

thanks Pryde, bit of a mad ramble, which felt like a breakdown at the time

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when we finally find our shoes and get to step out into the light of the world...will we be ready?
sometimes the young are too sheltered....and just aren't ready to deal with life...overly protected for too many years...there has to be a letting go....by parents as well as the child.
j.

[gram linski]

Aye, very true, j. as soon as they can walk kick them to f**k, lol

[DAH]

love this! it really shines with "haunted
into innocence,
corruption"

Cheers,
DAH

[gram linski]

Cheers DAH, thanks for reading and enjoying, one more of us is one less than them, haha

[barleygirl]

Not having had the "benefit" of religious upbringing myself, I read your msg as if describing how "clan" can similarly inflict a cloyingly protective circle of beliefs & sanctioned behaviors . . . the more so, the more secrets the clan needs to hide *heh! heh! heh!* Fondly, Margie

[gram linski]

thanks Margie, no really religious at all, not sure what the f**k I am on about to be honest

[barleygirl]

that's a relief to hear . . . . I thought it was just me being dense as hell!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Yup I am confused. Sounds like the discordant ramblings of a catholic conscience as life progresses and unravels when they cannot cast off the 'mask' and 'masque' of such poisonous, controlling teachings. The fragmentation of the poem seems to reflect this 'falling apart' with frustration. Or you may have nipped out to Sainsbury's for that Speyside single malt!

[gram linski]

haha, three hammers buckling ma heid, dude, from the corner shop veggie samosa on the side,